In this powerful and moving episode of The Recovery Toolkit Podcast, Richie Paxton sits down with Malcolm, who shares his long and complex journey through recovery after alcohol misuse and gambling harm.With nearly 20 years of lived experience, Malcolm speaks honestly about relapse, avoidance, and the challenges of facing deep-rooted trauma. He reflects on how external success never fixed the internal pain, and how real change only came when he stopped running and started doing the work on himself. From managing serious health issues and using a sleep apnoea machine for the first time, to finding strength through Parkrun and community support, Malcolm’s story is one of persistence, honesty and gradual transformation.He talks about the difference between showing up and truly engaging in recovery, and how his understanding of what recovery means has evolved over time. This episode is a reminder that starting over is not failure - it’s part of the process.Tune in for a raw and inspiring conversation about taking responsibility, letting go of shame, and finding connection in the recovery journey.