Why is it that the person we see in the mirror so rarely matches the one we feel ourselves to be on the inside? Why does aging feel like a betrayal of the image we’ve carried for decades? And why do we often hold onto outdated or distorted visions of ourselves, even long after we’ve grown?

In this powerful and emotionally resonant episode of The Psychology of Us with Professor RJ Starr, we explore the hidden forces that shape how we see ourselves—and why the mirror so often reflects only a fraction of the truth.

Drawing from decades of experience in psychology and human development, Professor RJ Starr offers a deeply personal and universally relatable look at the psychology of self-perception, body image, aging, memory, emotional identity, and the inner critic. With warmth and insight, he unpacks why so many of us still feel young on the inside while struggling to recognize ourselves in the mirror, and how cultural feedback, social media, childhood narratives, and emotion distort what we see.

This episode goes far beyond the surface. You’ll learn how your self-concept is formed and why it tends to freeze in time, how social feedback—both nurturing and destructive—can permanently alter your self-image, and how affective realism, confirmation bias, and state-dependent memory quietly shape the way you see your face, your body, and your place in the world.

You’ll hear about the psychological cost of perfectionism, the legacy of early criticism, and how the inner critic gains power over time. You’ll also hear about the possibility of healing—not through denial or artificial confidence, but through compassionate awareness, mirror work, emotional integration, and choosing new internal narratives that reflect the person you’ve actually become.

Whether you’re someone approaching middle age, someone struggling with self-image, or someone trying to understand how aging affects identity, this episode offers comfort, clarity, and practical tools for seeing yourself more truthfully.

You are not a snapshot. You are a story still unfolding.

Tune in now to Beyond the Mirror: The Psychology of Self-Perception, Aging, and Identity—and walk away with a gentler, more integrated relationship with the face looking back at you.

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