As Millennials continue to grow into their forties and GenXers are moving into their sixties, there is a pressing issue that every workplace is dealing with. Their leaders need time off to take care of (not their kiddos) but their aging parents.
I brought Scott Sutherland on the Porch to provide a perspective on what this looks like and what questions we need to be asking our parents now so that we don't end up in a chaotic and heartbreaking situation later.
Check out this fascinating conversation with Scott and grab his 10 Questions here:
https://www.practicewithlindsay.com/talktoyourparents
We had my dear friend and incredibly talented author, coach, and facilitator Kris Taylor on The Porch to talk about the trends in the workforce and how they are impacting all of us. It was such a thought-provoking conversation:
We’re seeing 3 main areas of change in the workforce and the all intersect and compound change for one another:
-The work itself is changing - think AI, technology, etc.
-The workforce - demographics are changing quickly
-The workplace - we are becoming more virtual, more flat, and much more fluid
In order for us to successfully adapt to this ever-changing world we must adopt the identity of being agile and being a lifelong learner.
It is important to have your own “report card” of what is important to you - the world is full of priorities (that are always changing) - by having your own true north you can avoid getting caught up in the chaos.
The people who will have more success and peace in their life in this increasingly complex business world, have decided to be more agile and are willing to adapt.
We have to bake in some slow-ness into our work. It doesn’t excuse you from learning and growing, but you don't have to know everything immediately. Increasing your speed will only burn you out in the long run!
You can find Kris here ⬇️
https://www.linkedin.com/in/taylorkris/
Website: https://evergreenleadership.com/
Books:
Owning It - Take Control of Your Life, Work, and Career
The Leader's Guide to Turbulent Times
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Have you ever wondered what it's like to work with a coach? Missy's new book "Forces at Work" will introduce you to life-coaching principles and stories that give you that sense of wonder and imagination many of us lost as we grew up and took on adulting.
We covered a lot of topics during our conversation:
🌟 Seeing challenges as catalysts
🛑 Navigating the Information Age and taking care of our minds so that we can find our inner wisdom
📓 Journaling for daily self-care and imagination
So much is crammed into these 40 minutes - I can't wait to hear what you think!
You can find Missy here ⬇️
https://www.missyshopshire.com/
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We had Forbes' top-rated speaker Jess Ekstrom on The Porch to talk about speaking with confidence and using your story to make a difference. There is so much great advice in here for speakers. Here are just some of the tips she shared: 1. A good story has a Premise and Promise. Your Premise is your story. The Promise is the takeaway for the audience. The lessons you’ve learned shared in your premise can apply to everyone through a promise.
2. The best speakers have a curious mindset and are learners, not just tellers.
3. You don’t have to be the expert on the stage to be credible. Simply being ahead of the game compared to your audience, having an interesting story, and a relatable message is enough to provide value and influence to your audience.
4. You decide what your “success currency” is for yourself. It won’t be the same for everyone and the freedom is letting go of the expectations of others with different currency expectations compared to you. There are so many ways to stay in Jess' world in real life. Her weekly hype texts (which I receive and LOVE), her Mic Drop Workshop, TikTok, LinkedIn... stay connected so you can borrow her courage!
You can find Jess here ⬇️ LI Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-ekstrom-speaker-author/
Website: https://micdropworkshop.com/ Sign up for her weekly hype text: 704-228-9495 - text the word: HYPE KEEP IN TOUCH 🌏 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsayboccardo/ Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com
This month, I came on the Porch solo to talk about my experience as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. There were several reasons we held a special Porch session: 1. Representation. There were folks on the call from all different backgrounds. I work with many leaders who are working hard to understand someone different than them. I also know many folks who are closeted for fear of losing their job, their stability, and their community. I did this to create a safe place for those that have known me for years. 2. To talk about implicit bias and learn about how the brain categorizes information naturally. We really can't stop how our brain categorizes information but we can choose how we interpret it! 3. To give some direction for how business and non-profit leaders can be more supportive of their LGBTQIA+ teammates. If you are looking for ways to support your LGBTQIA colleagues, here are some starting points: 1. Spend quality time with LGBTIA+ folks and show up to events that are designed to celebrate them. It shows us that you’re safe and you care about our well-being. 2. Know that actions speak loudly. If you put a pride flag pin on your jacket, we notice it. You are sending us a clear signal that you get it. 3. Be mindful of the language used when talking about families, whether you are speaking to adults or children. Many folks do not live with their mom and dad in the same houses. This could be from divorce or death, or maybe there wasn't a mom and dad to begin with. Using language about "moms and dads" makes it hard for many people to feel like they belong. 4. Establish an employee resource group. There is power in numbers and representation matters! Find a champion in a senior leadership position to give the group a voice. You can find more information about that here: https://www.hrc.org/resources/establishing-an-employee-resource-group Know that your words and actions matter. Teens are at risk and are watching the way we speak and act around LGBTQIA issues. There is plenty of research available but two important sites I'd like to highlight: 1. LGBTQ Youth are more likely to be bullied at school: https://www.hrc.org/news/new-cdc-data-shows-lgbtq-youth-are-more-likely-to-be-bullied-than-straight-cisgender-youth 2. LGBTQ Youth are more likely to attempt suicide: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/facts-about-lgbtq-youth-suicide/ KEEP IN TOUCH 🌏 LinkedIn: " target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferer">https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsayboccardo/ Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com
We had bestselling author Mark C. Crowley on The Porch to talk about what it looks like to Lead From The Heart. Warning: Do not be confused by the word "heart". This is not a fluffy interview full of cozy stories. Mark brings research and years of leadership experience to the table to tell us the biological NEED for us to change the way we lead others. Here's some of what we covered: - We need to ask ourselves if we are willing to make life better for those we lead or if we want folks to experience the same hardship we did. -Human beings are hardwired to reciprocate - if you treat them well they want to treat you well. But it has to be genuine care and not a quid pro quo expectation. -We have to practice boundaries, not just talk about them. Consider those after-hours emails and texts that ruin your teammate's time away from the office. (It doesn't matter if you say "don't worry about it until Monday" it was still sent...) -Do a gut check on why you're talking about well-being at work. Is it a means to get more productivity out of employees? This is not helpful. Employees know when it's not genuine. The heart tells us. -We now know that the heart is not just a pump. It's the core of our humanity. It's sending information even ahead of what the brain is able to process. -The heart is connected to EVERYTHING, without it, everything else does not work. The future of leadership is not just an intellectual exercise, it's a spiritual and emotional one. We must align ourselves with human nature as we lead into the future. You can find Mark here ⬇️ LI Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markccrow... Website: https://markccrowley.com/ Book: https://www.amazon.com/Lead-Heart-Tra... KEEP IN TOUCH 🌏 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsaybo... Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com
We had Alison Martin, Founder, and Managing Director of Engage Mentoring on The Porch. She joined us to talk about the serious need for mentorships in all sizes and types of organizations. Did you know that by 2030 boomers will have reached retirement age? That means companies need to start thinking about the transfer of knowledge of their senior leaders NOW to ensure future success.
Mentoring isn’t a “nice to have” it’s a highly strategic "need to have", and Alison shared quite a few reasons why:
1. Everyone needs to grow regardless of tenure and experience. The core of mentorship is the successful transfer of knowledge. That can occur at all levels and through all levels - it doesn’t have to be only top-down mentorship.
2. Mentorship training = Emotional intelligence training. When you teach people the specific skills of mentorship, the byproduct is transforming the culture. Not only are the mentees transformed but so are the mentors. This is because they are learning how to listen, how to support, and how to continue to develop their own communication skills as well.
3. Custom growth paths for each person. Every organization has different developmental needs - mentoring is the only program that meets people where they are and lets them take charge of their own developmental plan.
4. Inclusion and belonging. A formalized mentoring program ensures that diverse employees (ethnicity, gender, background, etc.) aren’t passed over simply because senior leaders tend to pick mentees that they have the most in common with. This is how we raise minority voices.
You can find Alison here ⬇️
LI Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alison-martin-she-her-7347319/
Website: https://engagementoring.com/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Learning-Lead-Through-Mentoring-Relationships/dp/1530346584
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We had Kristin Fuller on The Porch to talk about taking a sabbatical. No, not a yearlong vacation in Europe (although, that could work for some!) For Kristin, it was a set-aside time full of rest, learning, and quieting the noise of life to recover parts of herself.
Here are some tips she gave us on creating a sabbatical for yourself:
-Financial: Start small by figuring out the actual monthly amount of income you need to live. Consider living below your means to give yourself some wiggle room and come up with a game plan so you can do this without considerable stress and anxiety.
-Focus: It can be easy to just want to take a long vacation and not strategically make purpose out of your extended time off. Instead, identify your needs for your sabbatical first by prioritizing the things you need to restore the parts of your lost self.
-Listen: Even in the self-care world, we can be distracted from what we actually need! You’re the only one that knows your deepest desires and needs. Create the space to get rid of the noise so you can hear your inner voice again. It’s not that you don’t know what to do, it’s that you can’t hear yourself.
You can find Kristin here ⬇️ LI Link:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristinefuller/
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We had Ann Betz, an expert on the intersection of neuroscience, coaching, and relational trauma on The Porch. She joined us to talk about recognizing toxic traits in the workplace and what to do about it. So many of our guests felt seen and heard by what she shared, one attendee even called it “balm for the soul”.
This is one of those conversations that can permanently change your perspective on toxicity in the workplace. If you don't have time to listen to the whole thing, here are some major key points:
1. It's the good, flexible, hard-working, intelligent souls that get worn to the bone by toxic relationships. In fact, having high empathy can make you a target for narcissism.
2. The FIRST sign of a toxic relationship is surprising because it feels good. It's called LOVE BOMBING and it's the initiation into a toxic dynamic. If someone is admiring you, lavishing praise on you, idealizing you, and it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!
The irony is after being LOVE BOMBED for weeks or months, the individual is quickly DEVALUED and DISCARDED. All of a sudden, you aren't being asked to those meetings, and you aren't asked for your input. You may even feel accused of things you haven't done.
This roller coaster of admiration and then accusation can be very disorienting. The individual with "super traits" like extremely high empathy will give more to try to fix this pattern. The average person won't tolerate and flex that far and will leave before the dynamic continues further.
3. One of the best things you can do is listen to your body after you leave a meeting. Your body is telling you the truth. If it seems too good to be true, or you feel very disoriented, this is a sign that you are walking into a toxic situation.
4. If you recognize that you are in a toxic dynamic, don’t engage. You will not win. Do whatever it takes to get away (yes this may mean quitting your job). Ann said it best: "don’t wrestle with a pig in the mud. You’ll get dirty and the pig likes it..."
Want to learn more about toxic relationship patterns?
Video - Explaining Narcissism to others using the CRAVED Method- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4ypZnVF03M&t=0s
Book - Dying for a Paycheck - https://www.amazon.com/Dying-Paycheck-Management-Employee-Performance/dp/0062800922
Webinar Series - Narcissism at Work - https://www.google.com/url?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.beaboveleadership.com%2Fwebinar-narcissim-at-work%2F&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1673466459561065&usg=AOvVaw2kZeanDgbw5hIIeIbGD6Nx
You can find Ann here ⬇️
LI Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ann-betz-a6b31018/
Website: https://www.beaboveleadership.com/
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LinkedIn: https: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsayboccardo/
Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com
We had Lindsay Mitrosilis on The Porch to talk about LinkedIn as a strategy for recruiting and retaining top talent.
💥 Fast forward to 26:25 if you only have 10 minutes a day and want to be strategic with your time on LinkedIn!
Big picture takeaways:
- HR Leaders, hear Lindsay out. Employees SHOULD be on LinkedIn and active. If you’re afraid they’ll get poached and leave, that’s a whole different issue.
- When it comes to recruiting the next generation of top talent, building your virtual presence as a leader is the most important thing you can do. People want to work for a person they like and know.
- showcasing your presence on LinkedIn does just that.
- When you feel tension around having an online presence, remember you have full permission to set boundaries. Delete negative comments, ignore requests of people spamming you, and set limits for yourself.
You can find Lindsay Mitrosilis here ⬇️
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsaymitrosilis/
Website: https://lindsaymitrosilis.com/
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We had Trista Rucks of Sounds True on The Porch to talk about caring for employees as whole people.
There were several takeaways:
1. Looking for a positive way to start your next meeting? Try “The Good Minute” - ring a bell, and everyone (even on Zoom) sit quietly for a minute. It allows people to let go of previous stressors from their last hour and start fresh. Stretch their body, center themselves, and prepare for the next moment.
2. When dealing with a difficult conversation - ask for what someone needs in the situation, and be aware of what you need in the situation as well. We often talk about feelings but don’t always focus on what a person needs.
3. People in HR have difficult and life-changing conversations for a living. You have to rest to survive. When you take care of yourself with a break, it models the habit for others to do the same.
You can find Trista here ⬇️ LI
Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/trista-ru...
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We had Katie McLaughlin on The Porch to talk about what we can do to improve our workplace culture in this remote landscape.
There were several takeaways:
- Being a remote employee and leader takes more emotional energy than being in person. What we save in commute time, we use towards connecting over technology.
- Culture is found in small moments like showing up on time and celebrating small wins.
- In a remote workforce culture, it can be easy to assume you’ll save resources because you aren't paying for office space. Practically speaking, those same resources can be re-allocated to enrich the lives of your teammates.
You can find Katie here ⬇️
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mclaughlinkatie/
Website: https://www.mclaughlinmethod.com/
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We had Dr. Kristie Overstreet on The Porch to talk about how the LGBTQIA+ community navigates unique challenges in life and how allies can better support them. It was a powerful conversation and Dr. Kristie offered a myriad of ideas on how to be an ally.
There were several takeaways:
- Representation is everything. Being in the LGBTQIA+ is not a fad, the younger generation is seeing their experience represented in society, which is allowing space for them to come out with confidence and in larger numbers.
- We never change someone’s mind through argument and locking heads. Choosing curiosity, asking questions, and modeling kindness goes a long way.
Advice for folks in the LGBTQIA+ Community:
- Remember you are the priority not the person that isn't understanding of you, so take care of yourself at all times.
Advice for Allies:
- Find everyday opportunities to challenge binary systems. It’s not a threat to you to push for changes in the same way it is for a LGBTQIA+ person. Use that privilege.
You can find Dr. Kristie here ⬇️
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristieoverstreet/
Website: https://www.therapydepartment.com
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We had Megan Reilly on The Porch to talk about her journey to success and "Who is Your Momma" a podcast shining the light on the women that raised extraordinary people!
Main ideas from this episode:
You can find Megan here ⬇️
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meganlreilly-tippitoes/
Podcast Website: https://whoisyourmomma.com/
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We had April Shprintz on The Porch to talk about her book Magic Blue Rocks and her work with The Generosity Culture.
There were several takeaways:
-Leaders who open up about the things they aren’t good at help make others feel safe. If you’ve failed, tell your team. It will help them focus on growth and not perfectionism.
-If you're afraid to get feedback, take a personal inventory. Ask yourself, is this an area I want to grow? If so, the pain of the feedback is worth it!
-You don’t have to want to grow in every area of your life all the time. We need to contextualize the concept of having a “growth mindset.”
-Don’t bypass difficult feelings. The secret to finding a solution is not turning off your emotions. It’s flowing with them. When things don’t go as expected, take 5 minutes to throw yourself a pity party and then you can find a solution.
All links
You can find April here ⬇️
LI Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aprilshpr...
Website: https://drivenoutcomes.com/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08V18C5DF/...
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Website: https://www.lindsayboccardo.com/
Come practice with me in The Band! https://www.practicewithlindsay.com/
We had my friend Gary Danoff on The Porch to talk about human connection in the workplace. Whether it be cross-generational or virtual meetings across time zones - it all matters. Gary shared with us his formula for building connection: fun, trust, and encouragement. We talked about how to tend our team gardens and sprinkle in little habits that make a big difference.
You can find Gary here ⬇️
LI Link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garydanoff/
Website: https://www.GaryDanoff.com
Gary’s podcast: https://anchor.fm/gary437/
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We had Britni on the porch to talk all about Industrial and Organizational Psychology (IO Psych). She shared with us how the psychological contract between an employer and employees has been broken. YIKES! And how people are figuring out the new contract along the way.
Here are a few takeaways that stick with me:
-Psychological safety is the belief that I can screw up and be honest about anything. This is fluid and exists between each team member. Not just leadership down. It's truly the responsibility of every teammate to own that within a company.
-The future of work is about EQ - that's the mastery skill we need to continue to develop throughout our career.
-Employees want 2 things: to see that you value them and to believe they belong. It's our responsibility to create environments where this happens regularly.
You can find Britni here ⬇️
https://www.linkedin.com/in/britni-ei...
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We had Ashton Applewhite on The Porch this month to talk about Ageism. Unfortunately, like many biases, the idea that aging is BAD has made its way into our brains and beliefs. This means we have negative judgments towards others that we deem “old” (and toward our FUTURE SELVES!)
In this episode, Ashton helps us think differently about age:
-What if life got BETTER as we get older? (The U-shape curve of happiness demonstrates this.)
-What if it’s not helpful to our well-being to retire right at 65? Can we change our own expectations about what retiring means?
-What if older employees have very different skill sets that your company needs to hold onto? What if they help reduce turnover by their presence?
Learn more here:
This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto against Ageism by Ashton Applewhite https://www.amazon.com/This-Chair-Rocks-Manifesto-Against/dp/1250297257/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=this+chair+rocks&qid=1639075439&sr=8-1
Ask Ashton a question: https://yoisthisageist.com/
Ashton’s 2017 TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/ashton_appl...
Let's stay connected:
https://www.lindsayboccardo.com
I had Robb Holman on The Porch to talk about his new book: Move the Needle.
Here are some key points that stood out to me:
1. As a leader you need to PAMPER yourself. Indulge in taking good care of yourself so you can give freely to others.
2. Lead with the Platinum Rule. Treat others as they wish to be treated (not everyone feels appreciated with a huge public shoutout).
3. Define your seasonal priorities. For yourself and for your team. Life changes quickly and getting clear alleviates a lot of tension.
4. If you are struggling to get clear on your vision and purpose, connect with others. We find clarity in our community. Talk this out with people you admire and clarity will come to you.
You can find Robb and his new book here:
Stay connected here:
We had Cara on the Porch to talk about employee retention. As an author and speaker around this topic, she had a LOT to share with us. Here are very tactical things leaders can do to help retain talent right now:
1. Increase pay by at least 5.4%. That was the rate of inflation this last year. The hardest year of most of our lives. This isn’t a raise – it’s simply keeping up with the cost of goods.
2. Prune job responsibilities for teammates. There is no more room to “do more with less.” We need to be clear about what priorities matter the most and what we need from our team on a week-to-week basis after we prune.
3. Embrace technology. Forward-thinking organizations are using technology where it saves time and human energy. Don’t fall into the trap of “robots are taking over people’s jobs.” Robots are taking jobs that humans don’t want! This is a creative way to raise the pay of the staff that you do need.
You can find Cara here ⬇️
https://www.linkedin.com/in/carasille...
https://www.magnetculture.com/
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