Buckle up, you glorious weirdos, for another unhinged dive into The Pool House with Alex and Kelsey! We’re serving piping-hot 2025 tea, starting with Honey Boo Boo’s Lifetime biopic that’s got us shook—Alana Thompson spilling her truth while we clutch our pearls over Mama June’s money-grubbing past. Then, we channel our inner Trump (because who else?) to drop his Kisses and Tears folk album, a Bob Dylan knockoff so bad it’s got Melania ghosting harder than a Tinder match. Gen Z? Oh, they’re catching strays—think felony-charged cruise ship teens beating up old folks and kids clocking out of school for nail appointments. We’re screaming, “Where’s the sandal-slapping tiger mom when you need her?!” Pour one out for Jiggly Caliente, our forever-21 queen, with a tribute that’ll make you laugh and cry. And yeah, we go there: microplastics in our balls, teachers fingering jean holes (yep, it’s a vaginus-level scandal), and a heated debate on whether balls smell like microwaved bagels. It’s trauma, it’s chaos, it’s us ranting about everything from 9/11 pledge trauma to Obama’s paddle-wielding justice. Join us for a fever dream of laughs, shade, and straight-up madness.