Why does your teen or tween keep asking for reassurance—and why doesn’t it actually help in the long run? In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen unpack reassurance seeking as a safety behavior that often signals underlying anxiety.
They explore why offering repeated reassurance may calm kids momentarily but ultimately can reinforce and even increase their worry. Instead, Drs. Caron and Allen focus on how parents can respond in ways that foster independence, resilience, and emotional growth.
Together, Dr. Allen and Dr. Caron explore:
Here are some highlights from this episode:
00:00 – Reassurance Seeking in Teens Often May Signal Anxiety
01:09 – Inside Dr. Caron’s & Dr. Allen’s Anxious Brains: Personal Anecdotes
04:28 – Understanding Safety Behaviors and Their Impact
06:31 – What Reassurance Seeking Sounds Like in Teens and Tweens
07:01 – When Parents Should Pay Attention to Safety Behaviors
07:55 – The Challenge of Being the Person Providing Reassurance
09:46 – Why Reassurance Brings Short-Term Relief but Fuels Long-Term Anxiety
11:08 – How Parents Can Respond to Reassurance Seeking
12:31 – Teaching Teens to Tolerate Uncertainty
14:01 – Naming and Calling Out Anxiety: A Helpful Strategy
15:26 – Focusing on Small Wins to Deal with Anxiety
16:44 – Reassurance: Short-Term Comfort, Long-Term Cost
If you’ve ever worried about whether answering “one more question” is helping—or wondered why your child keeps asking the same things again and again—this episode will give you research-based insights and actionable strategies to respond with empathy while breaking the cycle of reassurance seeking.
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