What happens when a smart, capable woman gets trapped in a high-control religious system that strips her of her identity, voice, and power? In this powerful episode of The Ownership Game, host Gary Montalvo sits down with psychotherapist, leadership coach, and author Michelle Moffitt. For 30 years, Michelle was immersed in a patriarchal religious system that shaped every part of her life—from her marriage to her career to her voice.
But this is more than a story about faith or religion—it’s about trauma, belonging, people-pleasing, and the cost of abandoning your authenticity for acceptance. Michelle’s story is raw, honest, and a wake-up call for anyone questioning the systems they're a part of.
If you've ever felt stuck in a life you didn't consciously choose—or found yourself judging someone who is—this conversation will challenge and inspire you.
In this episode, we discuss:
Chapters:
00:00 Intro Clip: Michelle on Gaslighting in Religious Systems
01:16 Welcome to The Ownership Game
02:10 What Are High-Control Systems & Why Smart People Get Trapped
03:30 Introducing Michelle Moffitt: Therapist, Coach, Author
04:00 Michelle’s Progressive Upbringing vs. The System She Entered
06:00 Trauma, Date Rape & the Search for Safety
08:00 Entering a Patriarchal Religious System
10:00 Early Red Flags, Marriage, and Loss of Voice
13:00 Why We Stay: Belonging, Love-Bombing & Indoctrination
16:00 Understanding Narcissism, Gaslighting & Control
20:00 The Turning Point: Realizing Something Was Deeply Wrong
23:00 Asking for Help from the Church—and Being Told to Repent
27:00 Being Cast Out, Losing Everything & Moving Back to Seattle
31:00 Rebuilding Life From Scratch
34:00 Healing the Body from Hypervigilance
36:00 Becoming a Therapist: Awakening Through Education
39:00 Enneagram, Coaching, and Newfound Agency
45:00 Final Reflections on Motivation, Forgiveness & Self-Compassion
54:00 Advice for Others Escaping Toxic Systems
58:00 Closing Thoughts from Gary: Healing Begins with Honoring Your Truth
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Connect with Michelle:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michellemoffittcoach/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michelle.rogers.520357/https://www.facebook.com/michelle.rogers.520357/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michellemoffittcoach/
Website: https://michellemoffitt.com/
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