A new "Catholic investing scorecard" promises to help the devout align their portfolios with church teachings by dodging investments in anything supporting abortion, pornography, or LGBTQ+ rights. While some applaud this "faith-based stewardship," others—including us heathens—see it as a transparent, hypocritical weaponization of finance in the ongoing culture wars. A financial advisor, who evidently didn't use divine intervention to amass his own wealth, is now offering a tool based on "faith not seen" rather than evidence, potentially leading to exclusion and bad investments. We’re just wondering if the Vatican is secretly funding the White Sox now. Talk about a holy roller… 💰🏳️🌈🚫
News Source: Catholic investing scorecard aims to steer money from abortion, pornography and LGBTQ causes
By Claire Giangrav for Religious News Services
August 21, 2025
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https://religionnews.com/2025/08/21/catholic-investing-scorecard-aims-to-steer-money-from-abortion-pornography-and-lgbtq-causes/The Non-Prophets Episode 24.36.1 with Kelley Laughlin, Flabbergasted and Cynthia McDonald
Holy Portfolio: Investing with God! 😇
Catholic Cash Crusade: Divine Dollars? 💸
Faith-Based Funds: Invest or Indoctrinate? 🤔
Praying for Profits: A Risky Bet! 📉
Weaponizing Wealth: Culture War Capital ⚔️
Hypocrisy's Hidden Hand: Money & Morals 🎭
No Gays, No Gains? Catholic Investing! 🚫🏳️🌈
Beyond Belief: Investing Scorecard Exposed 🤯
Financial Salvation or Scam? You Decide! 🙏
Market Morality: Whose Values Rule? ⚖️
Profits Over Principles: The Catholic Way? ⛪
Evidence-Free Investing: A Leap of Faith? 🎢
The Vatican's Invisible Hand in Finance? 👀
God's Greenbacks: Divinely Guided Investments? 🌟
Buyer Beware: Catholic Investing Edition! ⚠️
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