When everything falls apart at once, grief, divorce, addiction, and motherhood, how do you find the strength to rebuild? In this moving episode of The Moving On Method® with Michelle Dempsey-Multack, Nikki Spoelstra shares her powerful journey through loss, sobriety, and renewal. From the depths of despair to founding the Becoming Her community, Nikki reveals how radical self-trust, faith, and emotional recovery can transform the most painful moments into the foundation for an extraordinary new life. What You’ll Learn: The “Victor, Not Victim” Mindset: How reframing pain changes your entire healing trajectory. The Truth About Sobriety and Survival: Why Nikki says recovery was “divine preparation” for life’s hardest storms. Emotional Self-Trust: Learning to make decisions that honor your peace, even when others don’t understand. How to Rest, Rebuild, and Rise: Why rest isn’t weakness, it’s a necessary part of transformation. Breaking Cycles of Shame and Control: How to stop carrying what isn’t yours and start caring without over-functioning. Episode Highlights: 00:00 – When life collapses: navigating grief, loss, and survival 05:40 – The “victor or victim” decision that changed Nikki’s life 12:25 – Grieving complicated relationships and finding closure without reconciliation 20:10 – Sobriety as divine preparation for motherhood and adversity 29:15 – Redefining rest, recovery, and self-compassion after burnout 36:48 – Public healing: setting boundaries with grace and emotional integrity 43:02 – The “Modern Matriarch” mindset and what it means to become her 47:12 – Nikki’s message to anyone feeling hopeless right now Meet the Guest: Nikki Spoelstra is a creator, speaker, and founder of the Becoming Her community, a digital platform for women devoted to self-trust, healing, and personal growth. Through her story of faith, sobriety, and transformation, Nikki has inspired thousands to redefine strength and embrace emotional literacy in their healing journey. Tools, Frameworks, or Strategies Mentioned: The “Victor vs. Victim” Framework – A mindset reframe for overcoming adversity. The Serenity Prayer Practice – Daily grounding for recovery and emotional regulation. The “Care, Don’t Carry” Model – Learning healthy emotional boundaries. Modern Matriarch Mindset – Leadership and empowerment redefined for women post-divorce. Becoming Her Method – A self-evolution model rooted in faith, recovery, and feminine empowerment. Closing Insight: Closing Insight: “The burdens we carry aren’t meant to crush us, they’re portals that lift us higher.” Nikki’s story reminds us that healing doesn’t begin with perfection; it begins with permission. Join The Moving On Collective! A safe, judgment-free support group experience for divorced and divorcing parents: https://bit.ly/MichelleCommunity Learn from Michelle how to navigate divorce & co-parenting: https://bit.ly/MDMPodStore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheMichelleDempsey Website - https://michelledempsey.com/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/michelle645 TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@themichelledempsey1 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mldempsey/ LINK TO TRANSCRIPT: https://transcripts/moving-on-method-ep270-becoming-her-nikki-spoelstra Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices