The Messed Up Gardener

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The Messed Up Gardener

Esther Aitken

165 episodes

9 hours ago

Ever notice how some gardens just feel right? In this short and sunny episode, Esther unpacks one of gardening’s simplest design secrets — the rule of odd numbers. Discover why planting in threes, fives, or sevens creates flow and balance, how our brains naturally prefer a little imperfection, and when it actually pays to break the rule entirely. From hydrangeas to veggie beds, Esther shares real examples from her own garden that prove small tweaks can make a big difference. You’ll walk away ...

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Ever notice how some gardens just feel right? In this short and sunny episode, Esther unpacks one of gardening’s simplest design secrets — the rule of odd numbers. Discover why planting in threes, fives, or sevens creates flow and balance, how our brains naturally prefer a little imperfection, and when it actually pays to break the rule entirely. From hydrangeas to veggie beds, Esther shares real examples from her own garden that prove small tweaks can make a big difference. You’ll walk away ...

Show more...

Episodes (20/165)

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 150: “The Odd Rule — Why Uneven Planting Looks So Darn Good”

Ever notice how some gardens just feel right? In this short and sunny episode, Esther unpacks one of gardening’s simplest design secrets — the rule of odd numbers. Discover why planting in threes, fives, or sevens creates flow and balance, how our brains naturally prefer a little imperfection, and when it actually pays to break the rule entirely. From hydrangeas to veggie beds, Esther shares real examples from her own garden that prove small tweaks can make a big difference. You’ll walk away ...

Few seconds ago

19 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 149: “Beehind Closed Doors: What Really Happens When You Grow Under Cover”

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Messed-Up Gardener! Today, we’re pulling back the netting (literally) to talk about the sneaky pollination problems that happen in greenhouses, tunnel houses, and bird-netted spaces — and the easy fixes that bring the buzz (and the fruit set) back. We’ll celebrate a little milestone too: this week marks three years since the show launched in November 2022. If you’ve been here since the messy early days — thank you! 💚 🌸 What You’ll Learn • Why flower...

1 week ago

24 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 148: “Chaos Gardening: Why Letting Go Might Grow More Than You Think.”

Hi & Welcome to another episode of The Messed Up Gardener Spring is in full swing here at The Messed-Up Gardener HQ—sunflowers about to pop, kiwifruit vines gearing up to flower, bees on overtime, and the greenhouse going bonkers. All that colourful, buzzy beautiful mess got me thinking about the trend taking root across NZ: Chaos Gardening. In this episode, I share what it is, why the wild works, and how to try it (without losing your mind). In this episode you’ll learn What chaos garden...

1 week ago

24 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 147: “Barrel Dreams: The Pros and Cons of Growing Nursery Trees in Big Pots While You Wait for Your Land”

Ever wandered through a nursery, spotted the perfect tree, and thought, “One day… when I have my own land”? In this heartfelt episode, I share how hubby and I are building our future orchard right now — one barrel at a time. With over 100 tubs of citrus, raspberries, blueberries, feijoas, lilies, and dahlias thriving in pots, we’ve turned our rental into a “Barrel Army” and learned a ton along the way. You’ll discover the real pros and cons of on-growing trees in large barrels — from saving ...

2 weeks ago

21 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 146 Hot House Secrets — How to Grow Smarter in Pots & Soil

It’s been one of those weeks washing almost dry… and then it rains. Hubby’s flat-out with the bees, and I’ve been fighting off a chest/sinus bug (would not recommend). The silver lining? My happy place under plastic. Even on the rough days, a quiet potter in the greenhouse resets everything — which is exactly why today’s episode is all about unlocking the secrets of growing under cover. Step inside with me: warm, earthy air, tomato-leaf scent, fat drops of condensation, and two kinds of...

3 weeks ago

38 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 145: The Harvest Hustle - 6 Things to Pick Now Before They Go to Waste (Save your crops and your sanity with timely harvesting)

Spring is in full swing here at Shesther’s, and while the frosts are just behind us (fingers crossed past Labour Day!), the gardens and orchard are pumping out produce faster than we can keep up. Hubby’s been on frost duty with the incinerators, the kiwifruit are looking promising, and thanks to all that late-night effort, the veggie and flower beds are thriving too. But here’s the catch — harvest timing is everything. One day you’ve got tender lettuce, the next it’s bolted. A zucchini hides ...

1 month ago

21 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 144: The Garden Mood Boost: 4 Simple Changes to Lift Your Space (and Your Spirits)

This week in the garden has been full of surprises — tomato flowers already popping, zucchinis producing their first harvest despite frosty mornings, and hubby’s sunflowers growing like they’re on steroids. We’ve even adopted a scruffy little black kitten who’s decided my husband is “his person” (much to his delight and my eye-rolling amusement). Between all that chaos and progress, I’ve been reminded of something important: our surroundings deeply affect how we feel. A thriving zucchini, a c...

1 month ago

18 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 143: The Weekend Wonderlist – 6 Mini Garden Projects That Look Huge

What a week it’s been! Between wild spring winds rattling our roof, chasing runaway bins down the orchard driveway, and watching trees topple across town, it’s been chaos out there. But amidst the gusts and garden madness, there’s also been joy—sunflowers planted, dahlias popping, capsicums cranking in the greenhouse, and the chickens back in full laying mode. This week’s episode is all about weekend wins—the little jobs that make your garden look like you’ve spent days working, when really i...

1 month ago

19 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 142: “The Garden Goldmine: 7 Things in Your Backyard You Didn’t Know Were Valuable”

What if your garden was hiding treasures you’ve been walking past every day? 🌱 In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, I’m digging into seven overlooked “goldmines” that can save you money, grow healthier plants, and make your garden feel abundant without another trip to the garden centre. From tired old potting mix that still has life left, to self-seeding volunteers, fallen leaves, kitchen scraps, rainwater, and even weeds — you’ll learn how to spot hidden value and put it to work. ...

1 month ago

24 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 141: “The 5×5 Garden Glow-Up: 5 Tiny Tweaks for Big Growth in 5 Days”

Spring has officially arrived — but if you’re feeling a little behind in the garden (like I am this year after our big move!), don’t worry. In this week’s episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, I’m sharing how five tiny, under-20-minute tweaks can transform your garden in just five days. We’ll talk about the power of micro-actions — the little shifts that deliver big rewards — and I’ll walk you through five quick wins you can try this week: These are simple, low-cost actions with a hi...

2 months ago

18 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 140: The Doomsday Garden Kit – Listener Q&A Special (Part 3)

Hello and welcome back to another episode of The Messed-Up Gardener! I’m Esther Williams, your host, and as always — I’m absolutely buzzed to be here with you today. Over the past two episodes, we’ve been digging deep into the Doomsday Garden Kit: what you’d pack if you had to grow food from scratch in a survival situation. And wow… the response has been incredible. You sent me so many questions that I had to dedicate this final part of the series to answering them directly. But f...

2 months ago

24 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 139: The Doomsday Garden Kit – Listener Questions Answered (Part 2)

Last week’s episode on the Doomsday Garden Kit got a huge response — and my inbox lit up with questions! One of you cheeky listeners asked, “Ok Esther, you’ve told us how to grow the food… but how do we actually cook it, store it, and not lose our minds while doing it?” Fair point — so today, we’re diving into Part 2. In this episode, I’ll walk you through: 🌱 Fuel & cooking (because you can’t eat raw kumara forever) 🌱 The garden first-aid kit: aloe, kawakawa, calendula & g...

2 months ago

22 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 138: The Doomsday Garden Kit: What to Pack When the World Goes Sideways

What would you grab if you had to start your garden all over again — from scratch — in the middle of chaos? In this episode of The Messed Up Gardener, I get real about resilience, self-sufficiency, and the not-so-crazy idea of a gardener’s doomsday kit. From heirloom seeds (your real survival currency) to low-tech tools, soil starters, water hacks, and even what’s worth bartering when the shelves run bare — this is the honest chat most gardeners haven’t had yet. It’s not abo...

2 months ago

18 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 137: “The 3×3 Garden Reset: 3 Things to Stop, 3 Things to Start, 3 Things to Celebrate”

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Messed-Up Gardener—your go-to podcast and mini masterclasses for all things gardening! I’m your host, Esther Williams, and I’m absolutely buzzed to be here with you today. In this episode, I’m inviting you to pause, reflect, and give your garden (and yourself) a seasonal mindset reset. Whether you're knee-deep in weeds or quietly sipping tea while watching seedlings grow, this one’s for you. It’s what I call the 3×3 Garden Reset: 🌿 Three things to ...

3 months ago

17 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 136: “Before Spring Smacks You in the Seedlings: August Garden To-Do’s”

This week’s episode is bursting with everything you need to know to get a jumpstart on your spring garden — even if your backyard currently looks like a soggy mess! Join me, Esther Williams, as I walk you through exactly what to plant, prep, plan, and prioritise in the first week of August so you don’t end up scrambling when spring finally hits. From garlic planting before the “oops window” closes, to giving your tools and seed stash the love they deserve, this episode is a practical, relaxed...

3 months ago

21 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 135: "Minimalist Gardening: Less Stuff, More Style"

This week, frosty mornings have been turning our routines upside down—defrosting the cars has been chaos! But you know what? Those frosts have been amazing for our kiwifruit vines, naturally clearing out bugs and even knocking back those pesky wasp nests that have plagued our bees all season. Nature doing its thing—gotta love it! Welcome back to The Messed-Up Gardener! I’m Esther Williams, and I’m buzzing to be here with you for another episode full of garden inspiration and real-life updates...

3 months ago

24 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 134: What if I told you your garden could grow your soap?

In this delightfully dirt-under-the-nails episode, Esther dives into a surprisingly sudsy topic—soap plants! That's right—your garden can grow more than veggies and flowers. It can grow your cleaning products too! From traditional soapwort and yucca roots to soothing calendula, moisturizing aloe vera, and even homegrown loofah sponges, this episode covers everything you need to grow your own garden-to-bathroom soap bar. Esther even shares a DIY gardener’s hand scrub soap recipe—perfect for po...

3 months ago

28 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 133: Bug Off Naturally: Growing Insect-Repelling Plants & Safe Bug Bite Herbal Remedies

Get ready to reclaim your garden from bugs the natural way! In this episode, I’m sharing how to grow a living “bug-off” shield with plants like lavender, lemongrass, mint, basil, and more—plus super simple herbal remedies to soothe bites and protect your family (especially the little ones). I’ll also be talking about how to create a kid-friendly “No-Bite Zone” that’s as magical as it is practical. And of course, I’ll share some fun personal updates on launching my own business, battling midge...

4 months ago

19 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 132: The Garden Centre Secrets: What They Don’t Want You to Know!

Hello, green thumbs and fellow dirt enthusiasts! In this jam-packed episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, I’m taking you behind the glossy aisles and shiny displays of your local garden centre to reveal the 5 things they don’t want you to know—so you’ll keep coming back! I share some juicy truths and personal stories from my years working in garden centres, from the early days at 15 to some cheeky insider tricks I picked up along the way. Learn why those cute little starter packs often set you u...

4 months ago

20 minutes

The Messed Up Gardener

Ep 131: Allergies in the Garden: What’s Making You Sneeze & How to Naturally Soothe It

In this episode, I share a not-so-glamorous but super important topic: those garden allergies that can sneak up on you like a nosy neighbour in your compost pile. From itchy eyes and runny noses to surprise skin rashes—gardening doesn’t always play nice! We’ll uncover the most common allergy triggers lurking in your backyard—like pollen, moldy compost, and even the fuzz on tomato stems. Plus, I’ll spill the dirt on natural ways to soothe the itchies and sniffles without losing your love for y...

4 months ago

25 minutes