My guest this week is Ellen Nguen. She is a writer and dating coach for women. She want's to help women claim their power, take control of their life, find what they want and need, and live a healthy and happy life.
After my last podcast episode on Boundaries with Dr Rebecca Ray, I learnt about internal boundaries and how we set boundaries with ourselves. I went on the internet to find out more and found a good article written by Ellen, on setting internal boundaries on medium and then we connected.
She uprooted her life at the young age of seventeen, so she know's what it’s like to feel lonely, insecure, and alienated.
She navigated her twenties by herself in a foreign country, so she know's what it’s like to be lost, confused, and heartbroken.
She has dealt with dating addiction, low self-esteem, having an anxious attachment style, and various other issues caused by having an absent father. As an Asian immigrant woman, needless to say, she has faced racism and sexism.
You do what is good for you. That is being kind to yourself.
We talk about different attachment styles from the work of John Bowlby. She shares about her anxious attachment style. Feeling of being abandoned and distrust when you experience distance from someone.I share about having an avoidant attachment style.
When you are feeling not harmonious, maybe there is something not right and against your value system.
It is important we listen to our bodies and sit with our feelings.
There is a difficult feeling when you set an internal boundary in the beginning.
She has used writing and journalling to help her to heal.
She shares to acknowledge all your feelings and let them out. It is a chance to claim your own narrative.
Boundaries Recipe - How to set and maintain boundaries with yourself
Ingredients:
Self-awareness, self-esteem, self-trust, kindness
Self-awareness - know that you need a boundary with yourself.
Self-esteem- know that you deserve to live a happy and healthy life
Self-trust - know that when you set a boundary it is good for you.
Kindness - being patient and gentle with yourself.
Method:
Tip: Practice on small things, observe when you say negative things about yourself and reframe them.
https://www.youtube.com/c/EllenNguyen