Sitting in planning meeting and somebody goes "Let's do fancy dinner at that nice Italian place for volunteer appreciation!"

Everyone nodding like this is genius idea but I'm thinking about my actual volunteers. Jessica's got three kids under ten and works full time. Tom hates dressing up for anything. Sarah's been so overwhelmed lately she can barely remember eat lunch.

Fancy dinner sounds great in theory but honestly? Most my volunteers would probably see it as one more thing they gotta drag themselves to instead something fun.

Started watching when my volunteers seemed happiest. Wasn't at formal stuff. Was during random moments when they felt actually seen and valued as real people not just ministry machines.

Coffee thing happened by accident. Meeting Jessica at Starbucks talk about curriculum and Tom shows up early for something else. Then Sarah walks in running errands.

Suddenly we're all sitting there talking about everything except church. Kids and jobs and weekend plans and stupid funny stuff that happened during week.

Nobody being "volunteer Jessica" or "ministry Tom." Just normal humans having normal conversation.

Jessica told me later was first time in months she'd talked to other adults about something besides work or kid logistics or church responsibilities.

Now we do coffee hangouts every month or so. No agenda. No ministry talk unless someone brings it up. Just time be people together.

Tom who barely talks during meetings? Turns out he's absolutely hilarious when he's not trying be proper volunteer.

Best volunteer appreciation ever and costs like twelve bucks total.

Started writing specific thank you notes about things I actually noticed them doing. "Sarah saw you comfort Emma when she was crying about her grandpa. She told her mom about it car ride home."

Mail them their houses so they get surprise mailbox instead just another church thing handed to them.

Jessica keeps hers on refrigerator reads them when she's having terrible day.

Takes maybe ten minutes write but apparently means more than any fancy event I could plan.

Tried formal dinner once. Volunteers showed up nice clothes looking uncomfortable. Conversation weird and stilted. Everyone left early.

Pizza and board games at Tom's house? Completely different energy. Everyone in jeans and hoodies. Adults laughing over ridiculous card games arguing about rules.

Nobody felt pressure perform or talk about ministry stuff. Just friends hanging out eating too much pizza.

For ministry leaders learning fancy events stress volunteers out more, anyone discovering small gestures matter more than big productions, people ready to appreciate humans not just workers.