00:00 – Jonathan’s Lazy Introduction
Jonathan explains why this episode is technically still daily content—because editing is a pain and Cody Akins is a godsend.
01:35 – The Boston Accent Strikes Again
Ayla tries (and fails) a Boston accent, which Jonathan says sounds more like JLo from Queens.
04:41 – Southern Charm vs. New England Brash
Ayla shares stories about her Southern coworker and how Boston people “just keep talking.” Jonathan tries to paddle back from calling her pushy.
08:26 – “Are You Jonathan Weir?” (Uh-oh.)
Jonathan recalls getting recognized in a Walmart... by someone he blocked from the text line six years ago. Spoiler: It wasn’t a friendly reunion.
09:13 – The Popeyes Meltdown
Jonathan and Ayla analyze a viral video of a man screaming at a Popeyes employee for complimenting his wife. Is it gallant, unhinged, or both?
20:21 – “I Put an Extra Breast in There for You”
The hypothetical woman-flirting-with-your-husband scenario spirals out of control—with chicken-based innuendo and all.
25:36 – Dog Contraception Is Just Food
An unhinged but deeply logical conclusion: dogs would abandon mating for fried chicken. The future of pet birth control?
31:49 – Santa Fe Paid Someone Off
Ayla and Jonathan are baffled by Santa Fe being ranked the top city in the U.S. and dive into conspiracy mode about the travel industry.
33:49 – The Great Bath Controversy
Jonathan explains why he didn’t shower before work: Finn was taking a bath, and he didn’t want to ask Katie to stop it... so he powdered his head instead.
39:05 – Talcum Trauma and Butt Powder
Ayla mishears “baby powder” and things take a very weird turn involving boofing, colon cancer, and Supreme Court confirmation hearings.
41:19 – The Worst Ways to Die
Ayla says falling off a cliff is the worst way to go. Jonathan one-ups her with “scaphism,” which is somehow worse than it sounds.
44:44 – Why We Don’t Torture Anymore (Mostly)
They wrap up with a weirdly thoughtful reflection on how public executions were once family entertainment. You know, light stuff.
46:26 – Main Character Syndrome and Scratch-Offs
Ayla compares Squid Game to real life. Jonathan admits he wouldn’t even play—because he knows he’d die in round one.