One of the keys to the universe and a better life is our relationship with judgement of self and others. Setting it aside has been one of my biggest paths to freedom.
The Path to Removing Judgement
I originally posted this on LinkedIn earlier in the year.
I saw a post at the start of 2022 on LinkedIn encouraging people to “purge negativity” from the new year by removing connections who post negative things. It seemed like a good idea and yet missing something. My take from the post and the comments was that if you get rid the negativity around you, then you will be positive. That hasn’t been my experience.
What I found in 2021 and am continuing to this day, is an ongoing evaluation of the judgement I have of others. My own judgement creates my own internal negativity. How I react to what I read and see others post creates my own negativity. Nobody can make me feel negative. That’s my choice, even if it’s a subconscious, knee-jerk reaction. The more I own that, the more is possible.
Realizing this is my ongoing work I choose not to receive content from people that I judge. It’s tempting to stay subscribed to the newsletter that has interesting ideas or to follow a person I want to model in order get ideas from them. What I’ve learned from these people is that a majority of my energy goes into critiquing and evaluating them (judgement) instead of useful learning. Yes, I realize you could argue that’s useful on its own. I felt dirty inside after doing that.
I unsubscribed and unfollowed all the people and groups where this happens. It’s possible that my critique is “true.” If I don’t have a relationship with them where this critique can be useful, I’m creating a swamp of poison in my heart. Even if I did have a relationship with them, it’s doubtful I could help them in any significant way with judgement in my heart.
I see this as a point in time–each “now.” Tomorrow or five years from now I may be able to read things from these same people or groups and have nothing but openness, love and acceptance in my heart. Believing I had evolved from an earlier place of judgement I re-subscribed to a place I used to have judgement around. Within receiving a few emails I was back to my old critiques. So I unsubscribed. More of my own work to do.
And I don’t judge that either (except when I do, and then I forgive it). Something else to consider here is the judgement you have towards yourself.
My experience is that judgement always travels as a pair. If I’m judging someone else I’m likely also judging myself about something. And if I am judging myself I’m likely judging others too.