Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.
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Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.
From Hijacked to Healing: Navigating Triggers, Sobriety, and Repair after Sexual Betrayal (Episode #86)
The Human Intimacy Podcast
36 minutes
1 month ago
From Hijacked to Healing: Navigating Triggers, Sobriety, and Repair after Sexual Betrayal (Episode #86)
From Hijacked to Healing: Navigating Triggers, Sobriety, and Repair after Sexual Betrayal
Summary
Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis break down what “being triggered” actually is—the body’s alarm system firing after a stimulus—and how it can hijack thinking and push couples into fight/flight/freeze. They map the reaction sequence (stimulus → thoughts/emotions → chemical surge → flooding) and explain why triggers can surface even years into recovery (Hebbian learning: “neurons that fire together wire together”).
You’ll learn a practical path to move from reactivity to response: (1) name the trigger (“name it to tame it”), (2) notice where it lives in your body, (3) regulate—timeout, breath, movement, journaling, nature, (4) co-regulate with a sponsor or safe person, (5) practice self-compassion instead of shame, and (6) return for a repair conversation when both are calm. They coach the betraying partner to avoid minimizing or weaponizing the trigger and to offer steady presence and comfort. The episode closes with a preview of RISE: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, a new podcast + course focused on the early stages of betrayal trauma.
Resources
Immediate Tools & Guides
4-7-8 breathing or box breathing (physiological down-regulation)
Personal “Co-Regulation Plan” (top 3 people to call/text; what to say; where to go)
Trigger Journal template (stimulus → body sensations → emotions → meaning → next right step)
Time-Out/Time-In agreements for couples (when, how, and how to re-engage)
Books & Key Concepts Mentioned
Dan Siegel — The Whole-Brain Child / “Name it to tame it” (emotion labeling)
John Gottman — “Flooding” and physiological self-soothing
Patrick Carnes — Don’t Call It Love (addiction & long-term change)
Roy Baumeister — Ego depletion/decision fatigue (why long triggered states backfire)
Francine Shapiro — EMDR (trauma processing)
Bessel van der Kolk — The Body Keeps the Score (body-based trauma responses)
Kristin Neff — Self-Compassion (skills for reducing shame)
Stephen Porges / Deb Dana — Polyvagal-informed regulation & co-regulation
Hebbian learning (“neurons that fire together wire together”)—why old cues retrigger
Therapeutic & Community Supports
EMDR-trained therapist; trauma- and betrayal-informed clinicians (CPTT/CSAT)
Peer support: 12-step groups (S-Anon, SA/SAA/SLAA) or therapist-led betrayal groups
Sponsor/mentor system for both partners (borrow a regulated nervous system)
Related Episodes / Programs
Human Intimacy Podcast #50 — Navigating Triggers in Public
RISE: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal — new podcast + course (early-stage betrayal trauma: triggers, PTSD responses, stabilization, and repair)
The Human Intimacy Podcast
Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.
