In this powerful episode, Jacob opens up about the profound loneliness of growing up in a small Amish community and the moment he finally recognized the depth of his trauma. He shares his raw and personal story of beginning to question not only his rigid belief system, but his very identity—an unraveling that no amount of intellectual understanding could resolve.

As Jacob deconstructed the grip of purity culture and religious conditioning, he came face-to-face with the truth that healing cannot be thought through—it must be felt. His search for meaning and a will to live led him somewhere unimaginable: Eleusinia’s 8-day psychedelic retreat.

Follow along as Jacob recounts what happened when he took the leap—from surviving to feeling, from knowing to becoming—and the transformational experience that unfolded.