Jason Pargin's favorite hotdog is a hamburger with a side of racism, an icey glass of sexual assualt and a garnish of songs that are maybe some of the best ever written. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

Pierce Brosnan: Own it, enjoy it, don't worry about it. Words our guest Alex Schmidt lives by. Join us as the DOGGZZONE dives into what may be the most handsome origin story of any guest!

MORE Brosnan! Because one Brosnan is never enough. Just ask Schmidty, he'll tell ya!

The Dogg Zzone welcomes Dimitri Simakis from Everything Is Terrible for another Hot Dog origin story! Come learn how a pitcher of rapping sugar water led to the creation of the world's largest collection of Jerry Maguire VHS tapes! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

The original Rock 'n' Roll High School was a fun punk rock classic. The sequel is a Corey Feldman musical. It's the farthest human art has fallen in the least amount of time, and fucking Zak Koonce insisted we watch it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

Back in the 1990s we briefly mistook elaborate prosthetics for comedy. That's how we got The Amazing Live Sea Monkeys, a Howie Mandel production starring three suffocating improv comedians dying inside defective sex toys. Michael Swaim will explain how they influenced the course of his entire life. Presumably for the worse. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

Roll up an illegitimate, alcoholic Glitter Boy and step into the world of the RIFTS Source Book with Merritt K. What happens when you put EVERYTHING in a single tabletop role-playing game? Local lunatic Kevin Siembieda tried to answer that question and wound up with an unplayable game and a mechanical battle kangaroo. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

Learning can be fun! But not here. Here, you suffer. Mark Mahoney hates your brain and he's going to prove it with, "Learn at Every Turn." Warning: Contains a sexy and naked native sexual awakening and NOTHING ELSE. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

The late Dennard Dayle brought White Chicks into the Dogg Zzone. Seanbaby and Brockway did what had to be done. Dennard claimed the film was responsible for his origin as a comedian and curator of cursed media. It's almost admirable, that he was willing to die for this. He would be missed, if it weren't for White Chicks. https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-dodge-a-cannonball-dennard-dayle/1146167653 ALSO... Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

We're exploring the cursed media origins of the Hot Dog Crew, and this week it's Lydia Bugg with a show called Atlantis High, a paranormal New Zealand YA sitcom. It's like Saved by the Bell meets The X Files, but darker and hornier than either of those things. It definitely shouldn't exist, but it does explain absolutely everything about Lydia.

Nobody's first memory should be Mickey Rooney's head, magically bisected and glued to the side of a three dimensional rainbow puzzle box. But it does explain some things about Brockway. Come listen as he makes his broken memories Seanbaby and Hana's problem. It's another Hot Dog Origin Story! Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

Have you ever wondered what makes Seanbaby tick? Of course not, it's universally understood that Seanbaby runs on KICK and PUNCH and HUNK. In this episode, learn Seanbaby's Hot Dog Origin story alongside Brockway and guest, Mark Mahoney. Try to act surprised when it turns out to be geriatric exercises from the 1980s dressed up as karate. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert will go to jail if you don't buy his book. I know what you're thinking... This is NOT the time to be a wise guy. BUY HIS BOOK. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend

Who likes highway patrolman secret ninja force hijinks? Trade in your guns for shurikens and fingertip suction, because we're talking CHiPS: FORCE SEVEN with pretend ninja expert Eddie Doty.

Lydia Bugg is back to talk about "Zorann: Star Warrior," a Conan the Barbarian ripoff that begins with bitching and moaning, and ends with bitching and moaning. Somewhere in between the petulance exists a realm of limited possibilities, copyright adjacent ineptitude, and psychic sex pterodactyls.

Pretty sure we've got the inside scoop on Ice Cube's new War of the World's movie, we're the very first on the scene for this, what very well may be the worst- What? TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, other podcasts, even Ice Cube himself beat us to the punch in making fun of this? So... so we did the algo face for nothing?

Tom Reimann joins the DOGGZZONE to discuss... cyber... stuff. Cyber crime mysteries? It's the 90's and just like the 90's none of it makes any sense. Line up for your Virtual Boy helmets, it's time for, "VR.5" Also, BUY ROBERT BROCKWAY'S NEW BOOK, "I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200" by Robert Brockway, a Rappin' Robert joint, featuring the written word of Robert Brockway. Hardcover: https://www.amazon.com/Will-Kill-Your-Imaginary-Friend/dp/B0DKB68X6F NON-Amazon: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-will-kill-your-imaginary-friend-for-200-robert-brockway/1146656963

Look, we're all just having fun here right? Well STOP. It's time to get serious. You have two choices. Are you an ape fucker or a duck fucker? Take your tim-TIME'S UP. You've made your choice, the traveler has come. Zak Koonce and the rest of the DOGGZZONE are here to reveal your fate, you sad, sad zoophile. Shame. Also, BUY ROBERT BROCKWAY'S NEW BOOK, "I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200" by Robert Brockway, a Rappin' Robert joint, featuring the written word of Robert Brockway. Hardcover: https://www.amazon.com/Will-Kill-Your-Imaginary-Friend/dp/B0DKB68X6F NON-Amazon: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-will-kill-your-imaginary-friend-for-200-robert-brockway/1146656963

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Merritt K. for a second round of DIRT BAG JEOPARDY! You weren't ready last time, how could you possibly be ready THIS TIME? No matter, we never undid you're straps! Your stuck! Welcome to the second best thing that has ever happened to you! Also, BUY ROBERT BROCKWAY'S NEW BOOK, "I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200" by Robert Brockway, a Rappin' Robert joint, featuring the written word of Robert Brockway. Hardcover: https://www.amazon.com/Will-Kill-Your-Imaginary-Friend/dp/B0DKB68X6F NON-Amazon: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-will-kill-your-imaginary-friend-for-200-robert-brockway/1146656963

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Merritt K. Are you ready for the best game you've ever passively experienced? YOU ARE NOT. It's too late now... sit down strap in and be prepare for literally the best thing that has ever happened to you. Also, BUY ROBERT BROCKWAY'S NEW BOOK, "I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200" by Robert Brockway, a Rappin' Robert joint, featuring the written word of Robert Brockway. Hardcover: https://www.amazon.com/Will-Kill-Your-Imaginary-Friend/dp/B0DKB68X6F NON-Amazon: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-will-kill-your-imaginary-friend-for-200-robert-brockway/1146656963

The DOGGZZONE welcomes back Bryan Stratton to the podcast! Gimme an F#, four on the floor, moderate rock! 1...2...3...4... (verse) ROCKSTAR ferret! He's the best at a fight! ROCKSTAR ferret! Got his smokes and a light! ROCKSTAR ferret! He's a weird place to start! ROCKSTAR ferret! Gonna tongue fuck your heart! (pre) It's how gracefully you die that's important! (chorus) ROCKSTAR FERRET! ROCKSTAR FERRET! ROCKSTAR FERRET, YEAH! ---------------------------------------------------------- Buy Robert Brockway's new book... OR ELSE. Hardcover: https://www.amazon.com/Will-Kill-Your-Imaginary-Friend/dp/B0DKB68X6F NON-Amazon: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-will-kill-your-imaginary-friend-for-200-robert-brockway/1146656963