Join The CTO Playbook Slack Community to connect with other CTOs!

You’re leading everyone else—but are you quietly abandoning yourself?



This episode features executive coach and former engineer Natalya Tarasova, who brings a rare blend of technical credibility, Eastern philosophy, and mountaineering metaphors to the world of tech leadership. With a background in physics, machine learning, and organizational coaching, Natalya doesn’t just talk about change—she’s lived it through multiple career pivots and international moves. Her perspective is especially powerful for high-performing CTOs who’ve built their careers on delivering results but feel disconnected from their own needs.

In this conversation, Adam and Natalya break down why so many senior tech leaders are brilliant at leading others but terrible at leading themselves. You’ll learn how to recognize when you’ve put yourself last for too long, how to approach inner transformation with the same strategy you’d use for scaling a system, and why burnout often hides behind high output. Expect unconventional insights on emotional regulation, breathing as a leadership tool, the myth of waiting until you’re “ready,” and how to rewire your mental architecture for sustainable impact. This episode is a must-listen if you’re ready to stop sprinting and start leading from stillness.

You’ll Learn:

• How high performers unknowingly sabotage themselves by avoiding stillness
• Why “putting yourself first” is essential—not selfish—for sustainable leadership
• How to use mountaineering metaphors to map out complex personal growth
• What breathing techniques reveal about nervous system regulation under stress
• How to shift from reactive change to intentional transformation
• Why visualizing your “inner mountain” creates clarity in career transitions
• How to identify the emotional weight you're carrying that’s slowing your progress
• What Eastern philosophy teaches about integrating body, mind, and identity
• How to coach others more effectively by first learning to coach yourself
• Why most CTOs delay change until they feel “ready”—and why that’s a trap

Timestamps:

[00:00] Introduction

[04:58] What constant career change reveals about personal adaptability

[06:36] The hidden cost of being too externally focused

[09:08] Are you a victim of change or a driver of it

[10:18] How to take control of your state and response

[12:30] Why CTOs say they don’t know how to put themselves first

[14:56] Using a mountain metaphor to visualize growth

[17:05] Why high achievers struggle to slow down

[18:16] The role of stillness in understanding motion

[20:12] Why breathwork is the fastest reset for high performers

[23:12] How to prepare for the next phase of your leadership

[25:11] How to know when it’s time to move

[27:09] What leaders need to leave behind to grow

[28:12] Change is not linear—it’s a spiral

[30:01] What most high performers miss when working on themselves

[31:07] Why change starts with rewiring your identity

[33:00] Giving yourself permission to fail and learn

[35:03] Why emotional empathy can’t be intellectualized

[37:06] How embodied wisdom changes your leadership presence

[39:04] The hidden power of integrating personal and professional growth

[41:05] How self-leadership creates ripple effects across teams

[42:12] The 4-step change framework for CTOs

[44:05] Why timing your next change is a skill, not luck

You can connect with Natalya on LinkedIn and learn more about her company, Tarasova Coaching on its website.

Find more from Adam on LinkedIn and YouTube, and check out Adam's CTO coaching company Synova Tech.