What happens when three horror nerds who think too much throw on House of Wax and Thir13en Ghosts? Absolute chaos. That’s what.
This week we tried, and failed, to traverse two of our favorite horror films from the mid-2000s, only to spiral into oblivion trying to figure out how Jared Padalecki’s face survives being ripped off (spoiler: it doesn’t), debate whether Chad Michael Murray was secretly trying to hook up with his sister (ew), and spend way too much time wondering who the hell supplied Vincent with enough wax to build an entire two-story house in the Louisiana swamp. (Home Depot? Yankee Candle? Satan?)
Then we dive face-first into Thir13en Ghosts, a movie where Tony Shalhoub basically gets tricked into living in a giant glass Rubik’s Cube of Death while Matthew Lillard screams like he just stubbed his toe for 90 minutes. We argue about which ghost is the most effective, whether the lawyer’s death by glass door is the greatest kill in horror history, and laugh over F. Murray Abraham being out-acted by a floating torso.
Along the way, we spiral into:
•The tragic marketing genius of “Come see Paris Hilton die!” shirts.
•Why horror in the 2000s was peak teenage chaos (hello Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, Final Destination 2, and Wrong Turn).
•Wax being the least sustainable building material unless you live inside a refrigerated Costco.
•A slow-motion breakdown of Kurt Russell’s mustache in Tombstone (because yes, we went there).
Basically, it’s horror movie night with zero adult supervision.
If you’re into horror hot takes, wax-based architecture criticism, and hearing three idiots laugh about Tony Shalhoub’s ghost problems, hit play now.
CREEP-O-RAMA is:
YouTube: @creep-o-rama
Audio:@stranjlove