Tape up your knuckles and prepare for a roundhouse kick of nostalgia as we dive into the final episode of our Jean-Claude Van Damme marathon with the most iconic double feature: Bloodsport (1988, dir. Newt Arnold) and Kickboxer (1989, dir. Mark DiSalle & David Worth).
We’re talking Frank Dux’s (Van Damme) very real Kumite exploits (spoiler: they’re not real), Bolo Yeung’s terrifying pecs, and Michel Qissi’s Tong Po licking glass like a man who’s never heard of tetanus. Was Forest Whitaker secretly the best actor in Bloodsport? Why did JCVD’s dance scene involve 13 hand claps and 4 splits? And most importantly—how many kids shattered their shins trying to kick trees after watching these movies? (Spoiler: too many.)
Between debates on Kowloon Walled City’s structural integrity (thanks, James), Frank Dux’s CIA lies, and whether Dave Bautista could ever replace Tong Po, this episode is a no-holds-barred deep dive into the films that defined a generation of action cinema—and also our childhood orthopedic bills.
Bonus Chaos:
The Kumite Math: A 60-round tournament would require millions of fighters. Frank Dux is bad at numbers.
JCVD’s OnesieSuspenders: Fashion icon or spandex prisoner?
Bolo Yeung’s Pedestrian Beatdowns: How does one teenage Bolo Yeung strike fear in the hearts of strangers?
Stick around for swimming records, ponytail combat, and the eternal question: Why did everyone in the ‘80s taste their own blood?
CREEP-O-RAMA is:
YouTube:@creep-o-rama
Josh:@joshblevesque
Audio:@stranjlove