This week on Creep-O-Rama we were supposed to analyze the mind-melting disasterpieces known as Terminator: Genisys and Terminator: Dark Fate, but instead we spiraled into a rabbithole of missing robot genitalia, evil AI rebranding, and why Hollywood keeps rebooting this franchise, no matter how much it begs to die.
🔥 WHAT FRESH TERMINATOR CHAOS AWAITS?
•Guatemalan Arm Veins: We deep dive into why Arnold’s de-aged CGI arms in Dark Fate look like they could bench-press a small country. Were they grown in a lab? Did Skynet install an extra vascularity update in his system? Was this their way of saying “I may be obsolete, but my vascularity is eternal”?!
•The Great Robo-Dong Cover-Up: We’ve all accepted that time-traveling Terminators arrive naked. But Dark Fate chickened out on confirming if the T-800 is… fully equipped. Reason #95873 why the 80s were better.
•Terminator: The Reality Show: What happens when a bunch of rogue Terminators get stuck in a house together and have to figure out life without John Connor? (Hint: it involves interior design, tequila, and existential crises.)
•Skynet’s Identity Crisis: First it was Skynet, then Genisys, now Legion?! How many times can an AI rebrand like a failing energy drink company?
•John Connor’s Speedrun to Oblivion: The face of the franchise gets deleted in 30 seconds and we’ve clearly got some issues about it.
🚁 UNHINGED SIDE QUESTS INCLUDE:
•The Helicopter Scene That BROKE PHYSICS – Dark Fate casually expects us to believe that John Connor has a spare helicopter just lying around like he’s in Grand Theft Auto.
•Linda Hamilton’s “Karen Connor” Haircut – Is she hunting Terminators or marching into Skynet HQ demanding to speak to the manager?
•Mackenzie Davis: Protector of the Future or Machine Gun Kelly in Disguise? – We are deeply confused.
•The Most Ripped Terminator Ever: Why does the Dark Fate villain look like he’s been on a diet of protein powder and engine oil?
⭐ SPECIAL SHOUTOUTS TO:
🎭 Arnold Schwarzenegger(robot dad, interior designer, official Vascularity Spokesperson, er, I mean robot).
🎭 Linda Hamilton (The Only Woman Who Can Kill a Terminator & Sell You Essential Oils in the Same Day).
🎬 Terminator: Genisys directed by Alan Taylor, who probably lost a bet.
🎬 Terminator: Dark Fate directed by Tim Miller, who somehow made a Terminator movie about parenting, carpentry, and protein shakes.
Hit play before Legion—I mean, Skynet—I mean, Evil WiFi 666—reboots again and deletes this episode from history!
CREEP-O-RAMA is:
YouTube:@creep-o-rama
Josh:@joshblevesque
Audio:@stranjlove