Welcome to The Compiler, a daily curation of tech news. MAIN CHARACTER Sam Altman drops a bomb: "We know how to build AGI." In a reflective blog post, OpenAI's CEO claims they've cracked the AGI code and are now setting sights on superintelligence. If true, this isn't just moving goalposts – it's relocating the entire stadium. The tech implications are massive, but let's not forget the ethical minefield we're tap-dancing through. One burning question: If AGI is "solved," why isn't Clippy 2.0 writing my emails yet? SPICY TAKES 1. Microsoft's Bing goes full chameleon, masquerading as Google when you search for... Google. It's like showing up to a Pepsi party wearing a Coke costume. Bold strategy, Redmond – let's see if it pays off. 2. Withings unveils the Omnia, a full-body scanning smart mirror. Finally, a way to get roasted by AI about your dad bod first thing in the morning. Just what the doctor ordered: more anxiety with your morning coffee. ⚡️ QUICK HITS Microsoft's doubling down on AI, committing $80B for 2025. That's a lot of paperclips. Avataar launches Velocity, an AI tool generating product videos from a single link. Goodbye, intern with a smartphone. Watch Duty, a wildfire monitoring app, hits 7.2M users across 14 states. Because nothing says "relaxing weekend" like push notifications about impending doom. SHOWER THOUGHT If AI can now generate product videos from a single link, how long until our entire online shopping experience is just an AI fever dream? Thanks for reading!