Married to a Veteran – The Spouse Episode
Season 3, Episode 10 of The Common Veterans
When we think of service and sacrifice, it’s easy to focus on the Veteran — but what about the ones who held the line back home? In this episode of The Common Veterans, Jeff Schrock sits down with two of those very people: Sarah Holmes (wife of Army Veteran Kenny Holmes) and Katy O'Toole (wife of Marine Veteran Adam O'Toole). And when Jenn Schlorke couldn’t make it, her husband — and our own Fred Schlorke — stepped up to represent their marriage and share his perspective on the Veteran-spouse dynamic.
This isn’t just another military conversation — it’s the real, unfiltered experience of the military and Veteran spouse. From the stress of deployments to the chaos of solo parenting, from missed milestones to the small victories of surviving the homefront, these conversations give us a candid look into what it truly means to be married to a Veteran.
The Other Side of Service
Jeff opens with a toast to the ones who made sure there was still a home to come back to. While the service member was away, training or deploying, these spouses became the cook, the disciplinarian, the financial planner, the home repair expert, and the emotional anchor for their families.
Meet the Guests
Each guest shares stories of family life, marriage, and the challenges and triumphs that come with balancing service and home life.
Life Behind the Scenes
What happens to a marriage under the strain of military life? How do kids process having a parent deployed to a war zone? How does a spouse stay connected to someone on the other side of the world — and keep a family running in the meantime?
We explore all of these questions and more. The spouses — and Fred — discuss the long nights of worry, the exhaustion of being "everything to everyone," and the surprising moments of pride that come from being part of a military family.
Reintegration and Post-Service Life
What happens after the uniform comes off? The conversation shifts to the complexities of reintegration — reconnecting as a family, adjusting to civilian life, and redefining family roles after years of deployments and duty stations.
Real Talk and Reflections
From funny stories about miscommunications and military quirks that never die, to heartfelt reflections on personal growth, each guest offers insights that any military family — or civilian curious about military life — will appreciate.
Final Thoughts
The episode wraps with reflections on what people often misunderstand about military and Veteran spouses, along with what each guest is most proud of from their family’s journey.
Whether you’re a Veteran, a spouse, a family member, or just someone curious about military life, this episode offers a perspective rarely shared but deeply important.
Listen now to Season 3, Episode 10: Married to a Veteran — only on
The Common Veterans
.Up Next on The Common Veterans:
Episode 11: The VFW Episode — The Common Veterans dive into the VFW, the American Legion, and the DAV. What works, what doesn’t, and the quirky traditions that come with them.
