Well here we are, the subarctic chill has released its grip on the citizens of earth, giving way to muddy streets and fog so we can't see the mud and melting dog doo doo (mind your step!). We thought it would be great to have Etta James on the show, but for some reason we couldn't book her, her agent said that the-one-her-mama-named Jamesetta Hawkins, was booked, "At Last". Don't worry Ms. James, we got your back, there just hasn't been enough ass whooping in soul music as of late, I am getting so tired of all of this, "My baby loves me", and "My baby done left me, (Why she do that?)" themes, what about some good old "Watch your step, I'm gonna whoop ya, baby!", or "You looked at me funny, (I'm going to take your money)". Just kidding Beyoncé Knowles! You know we be friends! So, instead of Etta James, we bring you patently fake celebrity dating advice from Elizabeth Bromstein's Bubi. Get all your dating advice on one site!