A Canada goose has taken up residence in the Wrigley Field bleachers, sparking debate between John Howell and Rick Telander over whether the bird should stay or go. The two light up cigars and swap stories about wildlife encounters—from backyard raccoons to six-foot iguanas—as they ponder the line between conservation and practicality. Along the way, they veer into gene-edited dire wolves, Civil War statues, and the proper use of the word "ask."
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