An episode of false assumptions. In this week’s reading of The Brothers Karamazov, Dmitri is mistaken about the nature of an old woman’s charity, and our humble readers are mistaken about the proper amount of whiskey someone should consume while recording a podcast. Carrie Todd joins us at the readers’ table with her small reindeer-dog, Lulu and mistakenly assumes that she can break the unwritten no-swearing policy. Yes, dear listeners, there are some swears. Our alarm quickly calms, however, as Carrie assures us that “sometimes adults say words.” On this week’s episode we are also delighted to read about Dmitri’s upcoming lavish party, at which guests can expect to enjoy up to four watermelons. In the midst of all this, Carrie brags about her iPhone, and our two readers engage in a spirited debate about the nature of Dostoevsky’s death. Words are mispronounced, dogs squeal, and a whole lot of peanut butter-filled pretzels are eaten. It’s pretty much a clusterbleep.