Most lesbian and queer women aren’t walking around saying, “I feel shame.”
They’re saying, “I don’t feel good enough.”
“I overthink everything.”
“I’m scared to be fully myself - even now.”
In this powerful and personal episode, I take you deep into the hidden layers of internalised shame - what I call the master emotion. It’s not loud. It doesn’t announce itself. But it silently shapes everything from your self talk to your style choices, your anxiety, and even your attachment patterns.
I break down how shame gets encoded in your nervous system as a child, how it fuses with your queer identity, and how it’s been running the show without you realising it. This episode includes my own story - growing up queer in a strict religious home, the emotional fragmentation that followed, and what I’ve learned through years of therapeutic work with LGBTQ+ women around the world.
We’ll unpack:
Why anxiety is often shame in disguise
The difference between guilt and shame (and how most of us get it wrong)
How people-pleasing, perfectionism, and fear of rejection are survival strategies
The concept of double internalisation and how your nervous system stacks risk
How to begin softening shame’s grip and reconnect with your real self
If you’ve ever struggled with not feeling enough, hiding parts of yourself, or feeling emotionally off even after coming out, this might be the episode that finally gives you the language and clarity you’ve been searching for.
It’s not a quick fix.
But it might just be the beginning of something real for you