The Hidden Shame of Identity: Healing Generational Trauma Around Being Jewish

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The Anxiety Recovery Podcast

Valerie Rubin

95 episodes

3 days ago

Love doesn’t have to feel like walking on eggshells. If you’re caught overthinking texts, fearing abandonment, or shrinking yourself just to feel chosen—you’re not alone. Hosted by trauma-informed somatic coach and anxious attachment expert Valerie Rubin, this podcast guides you to uncover and heal the subconscious patterns that keep you stuck in anxiety, people-pleasing, and unfulfilling relationships. Learn how to heal your anxious attachment, regulate your nervous system, speak your needs, and attract love that truly feels like home.

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The Hidden Shame of Identity: Healing Generational Trauma Around Being Jewish

The Anxiety Recovery Podcast

59 minutes 47 seconds

5 months ago

The Hidden Shame of Identity: Healing Generational Trauma Around Being Jewish

What happens when your identity feels like something to hide instead of something to honor?

In this raw and healing conversation, I sit down with Ari Kantor to unpack the quiet, often unspoken fear many Jews carry — the fear of being Jewish. The fear of being stereotyped, misunderstood, dismissed, or not belonging at all. Together, we explore the internalized shame passed down through generations, the trauma of silence, and the weight of ancestral memory shaped by antisemitism and survival.

Ari shares her personal journey of growing up disconnected from her Jewishness — shaped by harmful stereotypes like “Jews are greedy” or “Jews run the world,” and the subtle messages that being visibly Jewish wasn’t safe. We explore questions like:

Can you describe the first time you felt ashamed or unsafe for being Jewish?
What did it feel like to not resonate with your identity because of how it was misunderstood?
What was the turning point when you began to reclaim your Jewish identity and feel proud again?
How did you begin to unlearn the shame you carried?

Ari vulnerably walks us through how Krav Maga, mindset work, and embodiment practices helped her return to herself — to safety, power, and pride. We also dive into the collective experience:

How does it feel to walk through the world carrying both the fear of being Jewish and the pain of not being seen at all?
What practices help build nervous system safety around being fully seen and heard in your identity?
What does embodied safety mean as a Jewish woman in today’s world?
And if fear wasn’t in the way… what truth would you speak unapologetically about being Jewish?

I also share my own story — healing ancestral trauma around the Holocaust through brainspotting, and finding the courage to let go of the fear I didn’t even realize I was carrying.

This episode is a sacred invitation to anyone who’s ever felt the need to shrink, hide, or apologize for who they are. It’s about reclaiming your voice, honoring your lineage, and finding safety not in silence — but in embodiment.

Connect with Ari on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arifit_ari/

Check out Ari's website here: https://www.arifit.com/thrive?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaekdCw3gHwP3qvgcupUYLaY4uTkauEhdRws64Aq76AWum62NCEZ4W9gJ8RfRQ_aem_kF4yCCjowfez6FVaw1F_7Q

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/