Why is letting go so hard—especially for people like us? In this episode, we dive deep into why we cling, control, and grip so tightly in relationships, work, and even our sense of self-worth. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same patterns, even in totally different seasons of life, there’s a reason—and it’s not because you’re broken.

Your nervous system craves familiarity like oxygen. Even if the pattern hurts, it feels safer than the unknown. Uncertainty registers as danger for the brain and body, so when life feels unpredictable, your system pulls you back to old coping strategies for a false sense of control.

We’ll unpack:

• Why letting go triggers so much fear and resistance

• The hidden emotions under the surface—grief, anger, shame—that make surrender feel impossible

• A viral reel that left me triggered (and what it taught me from a trauma-informed perspective)

• The deeper fears gripping protects—abandonment, rejection, failure

• 3 trauma-informed tools to feel safe while letting go

• How somatic work helps your body trust uncertainty instead of panicking

If you’ve ever tried to surrender and felt like your whole body said “NO,” this episode will help you understand why and show you how to take small, safe steps toward trust.

Ready to stop gripping and start trusting? Hit play.

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/