A 30-second, playful moment sparked this episode - and a reminder: love isn’t generic. We break down how to speak love so it lands without abandoning yourself, especially when partners differ. What you’ll learn (10 takeaways): Love isn’t generic - different emotional blueprints How to avoid the “I’m giving everything, it’s still not enough” trap Building emotional safety so defenses drop Reducing resentment & energy burnout Deepening intimacy beyond the physical Faster conflict repair by making the nervous system feel safe Future-proofing with regular “What makes you feel most loved?” check-ins Co-regulation: why the right love calms insecure attachment Turning micro-moments into daily bonding rituals Why guessing breaks trust (love is a skill) Try this today: Ask your partner, “What lands for you this week?” Then do one unexpected gesture in their way of receiving love (a short note, a quick chore, five phone-free minutes together, a gentle touch, a tiny gift). If this helped, hit subscribe for practical, no-fluff relationship tools.Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim takes you inside his personal journey of building a new life in Costa Rica - the highs, the lows, and the unexpected lessons about presence, clarity, and decision-making. From nausea-inducing dirt roads to perfect mornings surfing in Costa Rica, John unpacks how life-changing decisions aren’t made in one big moment… but in a collection of small ones. You’ll learn: Why clarity about life, love, and career comes from moments, not constant certainty How to notice and “bank” the moments that matter when deciding whether to move abroad, who to love, or what path to take The challenges of living in Costa Rica - from unpaved roads to missing city comforts and the surprising joys that outweigh them How being present is the only way to truly capture moments (and how most of us miss them) Why life’s “yes” often comes from an accumulation of tiny affirmations rather than a single sign Join the conversation! What moments have shaped your biggest life decisions? Have you noticed when your “piggy bank” of yeses finally tipped the scale? Share your story with us. Like this episode? Please LIKE & FOLLOW for more unfiltered conversations about expat life, self-discovery, and building a life that actually feels like yours. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today’s episode, John Kim answers raw, unfiltered listener questions on the theme of breakups and divorce — the things you’d never dare ask your therapist. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim gets personal about the mother wound - how it quietly shapes our self-worth, love life, and sense of safety. From a surprising MDMA journey insight to stories about his Korean-American upbringing, John unpacks what it’s like to grow up without emotional warmth from mom - and how this absence leaves lasting imprints on both men and women. You’ll learn: Why the mother wound isn’t just a “women’s issue” How emotional absence can be just as impactful as physical absence The different ways the mother wound shows up in men (approval seeking, caretaking confusion, fear of intimacy) and women (perfectionism, chronic self-doubt, boundary struggles) How it fuels unhealthy patterns like codependency, attachment insecurity, and emotional projection Practical steps for healing: naming the wound without blame, reparenting yourself, rewriting old relationship scripts, and doing inner child work Join the conversation! Have you noticed the mother wound in your own relationships or self-image? What has helped you start to heal? Share your story with us. Like this episode? Please LIKE & FOLLOW for more unfiltered conversations about love, identity, and the work of healing yourself from the inside out. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim unpacks the father wound - how it silently shapes our self-worth, relationships, and ideas of masculinity. Through raw personal stories and practical, street-level insights, he explores what it means to grow up with a “ghost father” and how both men and women can begin to heal. You’ll learn:  Why the father wound exists even if your dad was “there” How it shows up differently for men and women Why emotional absence can leave deeper scars than physical absence How it becomes a blueprint for love, power, and identity Practical ways to reparent yourself and break the cycle Join the conversation! Do you think you have a father wound? How has it shown up in your relationships or self-image? Share your story with us. Like this episode? Please LIKE & FOLLOW for more unfiltered conversations on relationships, self-worth, and the work of healing. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, licensed therapists John Kim and Vanessa Bennett dive deep into healing, heartbreak, attachment styles, and codependency - all from the comfort of their bed. With real-life stories, practical insights, and the lens of depth psychology, they unpack what it really means to "heal" and why the journey is anything but linear. You’ll learn: Why “healed” is a myth - and what healing actually looks like How depth psychology helps us make meaning from pain Why breakups hurt even when you’re the one who ends it The difference between codependency and true connection How to stop chasing love and start living your own life Join the conversation! Have you struggled with anxious attachment or feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions? What does healing mean to you? Drop a comment and share your take. Like this episode? Please LIKE & FOLLOW for more unfiltered conversations on relationships, soul work, and the human experience. Resources & Links: Learn more about Vanessa HERE Vanessa’s Inner Compass Academy HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim unpacks jealousy through raw personal stories and powerful insights. He dives into the emotional roots of jealousy, including insecurity, fear of abandonment, and core wounds — and offers real, practical tools to navigate it with compassion and clarity.  You’ll learn: How jealousy actually protects us (until it doesn’t) The difference between healthy and toxic jealousy Why core wounds trigger jealousy more than reality does How to build trust and “jealousy-safe” relationships Join the conversation! Share your thoughts or experiences with jealousy in the comments below. How do you handle jealousy in your relationships? If you found value in this episode, follow the show and share it with someone who needs to hear this. For more insights on relationships, self-growth, and mental health, don’t miss upcoming episodes. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John shares a personal take on creativity, productivity, and the pressures they carry. He explores how AI is reshaping the creative process, the quiet power of everyday moments, and why it's worth challenging traditional ideas of success. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John unpacks how childhood experiences shape our ability to express emotions and why traits often seen as flaws can actually be powerful strengths. He also highlights the importance of reframing our emotional narratives, building a strong support system, and embracing the messy—but meaningful—journey toward authenticity. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John unpacks the complex layers of attraction, emotional wiring, and how our childhood shapes the way we love as adults. He dives into the connection between self-worth and the partners we choose, and why so many of us find ourselves settling—in both relationships and careers. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John reflects on his first month living in Costa Rica—what's surprised him, what’s challenged him, and what’s changed him. He opens up about the warmth of the people, unexpected joy of slowing down, highs, lows, and lessons of this major lifestyle shift. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John explores the idea of rebirth and redefining happiness. He emphasizes the importance of pulling from personal truth, recognizing when you're in survival mode, and taking actionable steps towards authenticity and fulfillment. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John discusses the importance of embracing change, practicing mindfulness through surfing, and the significance of detachment from societal pressures. He also reflects on redefining success, finding joy in simplicity, and experiencing life in vibrant color. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John reflects on the rapid changes in his life, the cultural adjustments he faces, and the importance of community and authentic relationships. He discusses the shedding of old blueprints and the creation of a new life that feels more honest and fulfilling. Single On Purpose School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ starts July 9th! A 6-week program to transform your relationship with yourself and build a life you love — on your terms. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SIGN UP HERE⁠⁠⁠ Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John discusses the significance of family, the creative process of documenting life, and the concept of life as an act break. Throughout, he emphasizes the value of intentional living and how it shapes daily routines and interactions. Single On Purpose School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ starts July 9th! A 6-week program to transform your relationship with yourself and build a life you love — on your terms. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SIGN UP HERE⁠⁠⁠ Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John and Vanessa discuss their experiences and challenges after moving to Costa Rica. They explore themes of cultural adjustment, language barriers, relationship dynamics, community connection, and the impact of motherhood on their lives. ⁠Single On Purpose School⁠⁠⁠⁠ starts July 9th! A 6-week program to transform your relationship with yourself and build a life you love — on your terms. ⁠⁠⁠⁠SIGN UP HERE⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about Vanessa: HERE Order Vanessa's new book, The Motherhood Myth, HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ HERE⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠HERE⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠ HERE⁠ Find out more about John⁠ HERE⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John discusses the challenges and joys of relocating, the importance of community, and the lifestyle changes that come with living in a new country. He reflects on the beauty of the beach life, the culinary delights of Costa Rican food, and the fears he faces about the future. Single On Purpose School⁠⁠⁠⁠ starts July 9th! A 6-week program to transform your relationship with yourself and build a life you love — on your terms. ⁠⁠⁠⁠SIGN UP HERE⁠⁠ Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ HERE⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠HERE⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠ HERE⁠ Find out more about John⁠ HERE⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John unpacks the modern myth of the soulmate — and flips it on its head. Instead of chasing “the one,” he invites us to rethink soulmates as built, not found— and explores how true connection comes not from perfection, but from shared growth, challenges, and the courage to repair after rupture. Single On Purpose School⁠⁠⁠ starts July 9th! A 6-week program to transform your relationship with yourself and build a life you love — on your terms. ⁠⁠⁠SIGN UP HERE⁠ Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app HERE Follow John on Instagram HERE Find out more about John HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John talks about the transformative power of honesty. Reflecting on past relationships and personal beliefs, he explores the courage it takes to confront self-deception and encourages listeners to examine where they may be out of alignment. ⁠Single On Purpose School⁠ starts July 9th! A 6-week program to transform your relationship with yourself and build a life you love — on your terms. ⁠SIGN UP HERE⁠ Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app HERE Follow John on Instagram HEREFind out more about John HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, John opens up about letting go of his former life and embracing new possibilities, including a bold move to Costa Rica. He shares insights on personal evolution, the changing landscape of entertainment in the digital age, and redefines love as a state of being. ⁠Single On Purpose School⁠ starts July 9th! A 6-week program to transform your relationship with yourself and build a life you love — on your terms. ⁠SIGN UP HERE⁠ Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app HERE Follow John on Instagram HERE Find out more about John HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices