A quick little podcast with just me today. I have been reflecting on how some people struggle through growth and healing, more in terms of being lost in the liminal space. In the darkness we might say. I did write a blog about the anatomy of life transitions where I talked about it a few months ago but I think with a podcast you can sometimes say a little bit more.
Recently, I had an experience where something of mine came up again and I was thinking wow I have al the resources, training and skills to know what is going on. What I noticed is that the impact of it was significantly less than in the past. Minimal really. It was more a noticing and then I was able to resource myself.
So often, when people begin trauma healing or embark on a personal growth journey, they imagine it will be a straight line: one step after another, always moving forward, never looking back. But real healing and growth rarely follow that kind of neat, linear path. Instead, they are more like a spiral or a tide, flowing in cycles, circling back, rising and falling.
Healing also has the rhythm of the tide. There are moments of expansion, clarity, and energy—like the incoming tide that fills and nourishes. And there are moments of retreat, rest, and stillness—like the tide going out, leaving space for reflection and integration. Neither state is better or worse; both are necessary.
When we expect healing to be linear, we can feel shame or discouragement when old triggers resurface or when we find ourselves “back where we started. Recognising this cyclical rhythm allows us to meet ourselves with more compassion.
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A quick little podcast with just me today. I have been reflecting on how some people struggle through growth and healing, more in terms of being lost in the liminal space. In the darkness we might say. I did write a blog about the anatomy of life transitions where I talked about it a few months ago but I think with a podcast you can sometimes say a little bit more.
Recently, I had an experience where something of mine came up again and I was thinking wow I have al the resources, training and skills to know what is going on. What I noticed is that the impact of it was significantly less than in the past. Minimal really. It was more a noticing and then I was able to resource myself.
So often, when people begin trauma healing or embark on a personal growth journey, they imagine it will be a straight line: one step after another, always moving forward, never looking back. But real healing and growth rarely follow that kind of neat, linear path. Instead, they are more like a spiral or a tide, flowing in cycles, circling back, rising and falling.
Healing also has the rhythm of the tide. There are moments of expansion, clarity, and energy—like the incoming tide that fills and nourishes. And there are moments of retreat, rest, and stillness—like the tide going out, leaving space for reflection and integration. Neither state is better or worse; both are necessary.
When we expect healing to be linear, we can feel shame or discouragement when old triggers resurface or when we find ourselves “back where we started. Recognising this cyclical rhythm allows us to meet ourselves with more compassion.
Ep 49 How do we get better at being with our emotions and regulating ourselves
Talkin about Midlife
22 minutes 46 seconds
1 year ago
Ep 49 How do we get better at being with our emotions and regulating ourselves
Many of my the clients I work with, whether they be senior executives I am coaching, or clients I am doing relationship coaching with, often have a goal of wanting to get better at being with their emotions. They want to be able to respond better to the challenges that life throws their way.
The only way to do this is to work with the autonomic nervous system (ANS). Your ANS state drives your thoughts, feelings and emotions. When you feel safe, connected and regulated your will different feelings and think different thoughts than when you feel unsafe and disconnected.
Most of us, over years of experiencing chronic stress or traumatic events, have a nervous system that is really struggling with the capacity of what it is experiencing. That means our band width gets very small and we can get overwhelmed quickly. The key is working with the nervous system to build the capacity to feel all your feelings. You cannot just block one out and expect to feel everything else. Our system is not that clever. When you repress one, you repress them all.
Talk therapy or coaching does not work because it does not work at the level of the nervous system. You have to work with a somatic approach with someone who is trained to work with the nervous system and trauma.
The benefits to your overall health and wellbeing are huge. You will have more energy to function each day and doing this nervous system work frees you from constantly having to spend huge amount of energy to calm yourself down when you feel anxious, reactive and unable to switch off. It helps you make some choices and start to take action when you are feeling constantly stuck and disconnected because your body is in shutdown.
Best of all it allows you to put your precious energy into what matters most to you. Into the relationships you care about and to enjoy life.
Talkin about Midlife
A quick little podcast with just me today. I have been reflecting on how some people struggle through growth and healing, more in terms of being lost in the liminal space. In the darkness we might say. I did write a blog about the anatomy of life transitions where I talked about it a few months ago but I think with a podcast you can sometimes say a little bit more.
Recently, I had an experience where something of mine came up again and I was thinking wow I have al the resources, training and skills to know what is going on. What I noticed is that the impact of it was significantly less than in the past. Minimal really. It was more a noticing and then I was able to resource myself.
So often, when people begin trauma healing or embark on a personal growth journey, they imagine it will be a straight line: one step after another, always moving forward, never looking back. But real healing and growth rarely follow that kind of neat, linear path. Instead, they are more like a spiral or a tide, flowing in cycles, circling back, rising and falling.
Healing also has the rhythm of the tide. There are moments of expansion, clarity, and energy—like the incoming tide that fills and nourishes. And there are moments of retreat, rest, and stillness—like the tide going out, leaving space for reflection and integration. Neither state is better or worse; both are necessary.
When we expect healing to be linear, we can feel shame or discouragement when old triggers resurface or when we find ourselves “back where we started. Recognising this cyclical rhythm allows us to meet ourselves with more compassion.
