Exercise gives many of us a sense of control, stability, and discipline. Boutique fitness, with its fancy methodologies and curated lights, scents, and sounds, capitalizes on another, more elusive (and highly monetizable) feeling: purpose. For up to $50 per class, we’re not only sold a vision of our best body, but also our best self. We’re asked to set intentions, repeat affirming mantras, and see squatting and sprinting as a chance to ‘conquer the impossible’. The word 'community' is thrown around like cold towels. In a world that’s lonely and often disappointing, it’s easy to see why endorphins can quickly become addictive and studios marketing power and positivity become clients’ second homes. But for employees of these studios, the culture is a LOT darker. 

I open up the episode with my own candid confessions about using barre and pilates as an emotional coping mechanism, especially when it comes to men and relationships; choosing body neutrality over body positivity; and my attraction to overpriced boutique fitness as a way to achieve the "clean girl aesthetic"...and therefore the semblance of a more put-together life. 

Then (13:35), with the casting help of Deuxmoi, we hear from anonymous former employees of Bar Method, DanceBody, Flywheel, Laughing Lotus, Orange Theory, Pure Barre, Taryn Toomey's The Class, an unnamed Los Angeles Lagree studio, and a Western Pennsylvania SoulCycle dupe. They tell stories about psychologically abusive training camps, CEOs with God complexes, intense fat shaming, raging eating disorders, overt racism, and severe underpayment. They walk us through how instructors get clients hooked on certain workouts, and what makes a marketing campaign effective. They reveal some of the WILD codes of conduct (or lack thereof) found in employee and trainer handbooks. And, most importantly, they encourage us to take a long, hard look at why we’re often so willing to compromise our morals, on either side of the check-in desk, in pursuit of the “perfect body.”

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Tales of Taboo is produced and narrated by Ali Weiss. Follow Ali on Instagram & TikTok @aliweissworld. Audio production by Isabel McMahon & WTF Media. Theme song by Chris Stathopolous. Cover photo by Erika Flynn. Cover art by Kristen Montenegro. GOT A SECRET TO GET OFF YOUR CHEST? Share your own confession - or thoughts and feedback - at confessions@aliweissworld.com.