If you’ve ever found yourself in a long-term relationship that’s warm, loving, and somehow… completely lacking in sex, this one’s for you. Because every couple hits a dry spell. It’s normal, it’s fixable, and it’s a lot less about technique than it is about psychology, stress, and the tiny resentments that pile up between laundry and Netflix.
This week, we’re breaking the taboo - with humour, honesty, and a few science-backed ways to bring intimacy (and laughter) back into the room.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
The neuroscience of desire: how stress, cortisol, and routine quietly turn the lights down.
Why emotional resentment kills libido faster than time ever could.
How to talk about sex without it sounding like feedback or failure.
Why scheduling sex isn’t unsexy - it’s smart.
The “responsive desire” myth and how to work with your body, not against it.
Micro-flirtation: the small, daily cues that keep long-term desire alive.
The link between curiosity, novelty, and genuine connection (hint: it’s not about lingerie).
Episode Resources & Mentions:
Esther Perel – On erotic intelligence and the space between love and desire.
Dr. Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are: the science of stress and responsive desire.
John Gottman Institute – On emotional bids and the micro-moments that predict intimacy.
Tracey Cox – Sex and relationship expert on maintaining long-term spark.
Mating in Captivity (Esther Perel) – The book redefining eroticism in long-term love.
Research by Rosemary Basson – Female sexual response theory (responsive vs. spontaneous desire).
Key Takeaway:
A sex drought doesn’t mean something’s broken - it means something’s calling for attention. Desire isn’t a permanent state; it’s a living thing that needs laughter, curiosity, and care to survive. Start with connection, stay playful, and, most importantly, have fun.
Let’s Stay Connected:
Got a question, dilemma, or topic you’d love me to cover? Send it my way - I genuinely love reading them.
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Email → spokenforpod@gmail.com
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Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/ryan
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