Money is the silent third partner in every relationship. In this episode, we pour a hazelnut-oat cappuccino and have the conversation most couples avoid - how money shapes identity, safety, attraction, and the daily logistics of living together.
If you’ve ever side-eyed a £200 trainer purchase, hidden an Amazon parcel, or argued over “yours vs ours,” you’re not alone. The vows say “for richer, for poorer,” but most of us live in the messy middle: bills, budgets, debts, holidays, childcare, and all the everything-in-between.
In this episode, we talk about:
Why money talks feel harder than sex talks
First-date bills and the silent expectations they create.
Money personalities and how to balance them.
Three frameworks couples use: all-in-one, split-and-share, fully separate.
Why visibility is intimacy and how secrecy corrodes trust.
Money, power & desire: navigating income gaps without killing attraction.
The “running away fund”: independence vs secrecy.
Ground rules for money talks
Real Talk Moments:
“We’ll send nudes before we’ll show them our bank account.”
How we run split-and-share without feeling like housemates.
Language swaps that turn blame into teamwork
Episode Resources & Mentions:
The Gottman Institute - research on why couples find money harder to discuss than sex.
Matthew Hussey - first-date dynamics and who pays.
Key Takeaway:
Money isn’t just what you spend - it’s what you say about values, fears, and the future you’re building together. Healthy couples can talk about money without humiliation, argue without secrecy, and dream without shame.
Let’s Stay Connected:
Got a relationship dilemma or a question you’d love me to cover in a future episode? Send me an email at spokenforpod@gmail.com. I’d love to hear from you (all questions kept anonymous).
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/altarandtoastEmail → spokenforpod@gmail.com
Wedding vows & speeches → www.altarandtoast.co.uk
New episodes every Thursday. Hit follow so you don’t miss a thing!
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
