In 2020, my life as I knew it changed forever. Prior to this year, I had been my parent’s caregiver for nine years and helped them draw their last breaths. In 2019, my father passed at 95. One year later, my 90-year-old mother died, one day short of my father’s death date. They had lived beautiful and fruitful lives and were rejoined in death. They had been married for 72 years.
I had put my life on hold for nine years while taking care of my parents. Now, it was my time to live and thrive again. The time taking care of my parents had sucked my life energy from me, and now I could recuperate. I was married, and our kids were grown, but now I could focus on myself and my husband as these two aspects were put on the back burner. However, my seemingly vivacious, gregarious, and loving husband (nicknamed Bono) died three weeks later after my mother. I was taken to my knees in suffocating grief and had lost the three main pillars in my life. I wanted to die and join them; I didn’t want to live.
My husband and I experienced a love that many will never know. He was my third husband, and we met when I was 39. We were so deeply in love and devoted to each other. Our friends remarked on the love we had and how blessed and lucky we were. We both spoiled each other and now, my “rock” was gone.
I have always been a spiritual/metaphysical person and have seen psychics/mediums all my life. I also have those abilities. When Bono died, my spirituality was cracked wide open. I could now see him as an apparition/ghost, and he came to me and gave me messages through various means. He would appear to me, put thoughts in my head, visit me in my dreams, send me songs, speak to me, and more. I asked him, “Why did you die?” “Why did you leave me?” and was told, “For your growth,” which made me angry. This was our time together! I could grow with him! Little did I know how correct he was. In addition, my mother, father, aunt, uncle, and grandmother let their presence be known and also visited me in various ways. My friends’ deceased husbands have also used me as a conduit to give their grieving wives messages. One friend’s murdered daughter uses me to comfort her father.
I shared my story with my over 2000 friends on Facebook and started journaling. The journaling became a book. I was “told” it would be published and help many people; I would present a beacon of hope. With the pain, angst, and grief I was experiencing, I wanted to help as many people as I could. I found new friendships with grieving widows, and this slobbering mess of a human being rose from the ashes and recreated herself. I truly don’t recognize the person I have become; my core humanness is still there, but my expansion, compassion, psychic abilities, etc., increased tenfold. I founded a widow’s group in my area, and we all have grown through our sisterhood. People continually seek me out for guidance and comfort in dealing with death and impending loss. I have been thanked for sharing my story and vulnerability, and I have also afforded others the opportunity to feel safe in sharing their experiences with others. We are all in this together.
Since 2020, I wanted to die. Now, all I want to do is live; my mission is to help as many people as I can that experience deep grief. My book offers hope to people who have suffered a deep, significant loss and need messages, hope, and advice to help them emerge from the bondage of angst and grief. My book offers hopeful survival strategies to guide readers down the turbulent trail of grief and help them emerge into the sunshine.
VISIT THE WEBSITE
VISIT YOUTUBE and SUBSCRIBE