Once upon a time in a land far away, Genevieve awoke from a lovely slumber in her wooden house. Although it was the dead of Winter, she had no need for central heating, thanks to the Mycelium insulation between her wooden floors and walls. She gazed happily out of her wooden window (yes, her wooden window) at the suspension bridge constructed by millions of spiders which freely spanned 4km over the river beyond. She flung open the window with gaiety and took a great lungful of the crisp Winter air, which was completely absent of any harmful substances thanks to the photocatalytic 'air-purifying' paint which coated her house in a brilliant white to match the snow below...

Who said that 'once upon a time' had to refer to a time in the past...?