“Wow! You’re so nice!” So many of us have been raised to crave those words. We’ve been socialized to be agreeable…amenable…accommodating.
But here’s the truth folks never tell you (especially the ones benefitting from your niceness 👀: being “nice” can cost you everything.
Your peace. Your boundaries. Your energy. Your well-being. Your power.
Being nice can leave you feeling completely depleted.
In this unapologetic episode, Lisa sits down with Amira Barger—Executive Vice President at Edelman, and author of the upcoming book The Price of Nice—to unpack the unspoken toll that niceness takes, especially for Black women and femmes who have been socialized to shrink, smile, and smooth things over; who have been trained to say “yes” even when our bodies and souls are screaming “no.”
Together, Lisa and Amira get all the way real about:
✅ How "niceness" became a survival strategy rooted in systemic oppression
✅ How people-pleasing disconnects us from our truth and our voice
✅ The double-bind of being Black and “nice” in corporate and community spaces
✅ How to distinguish between genuine kindness and performative niceness
✅ The liberating path from performative niceness to authentic power
✅ Why replacing “nice” with “no” can increase our self-respect
Plus you’ll learn practical tools for unlearning chronic niceness, and setting boundaries without guilt, hesitation, or apology. Tune in and enjoy the show!
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CREDITS:
👸🏽Guest: Amira Barger, author of The Price of Nice
👸🏽Host & Executive Producer: Lisa Hurley, Author, Space To Exhale and Founder, The Great Exhale
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ABOUT SPACE TO EXHALE:
It is time to exhale: to say no to hustle culture, and yes to a life of ease. In Space To Exhale, Lisa Hurley, Anthem Award-winning activist, founder of The Great Exhale, and leader in the rest movement for Black women, provides you with an uplifting and practical guide to help you beat burnout, embrace rest, and live a soft life.
As a soft Black woman, and an advocate of rest for Black women, Lisa supports readers via modalities like affirmations, meditations, and breathwork, as well as her powerful Exhalation Point framework. This inspiring self-help book guides you on a life-changing journey to:
Know Yourself: Remember who you are, align with your values, and celebrate your strengths.
Love Yourself: Practice positive self-talk, select your close circle, and prioritize rest.
Be Yourself: Show up authentically, protect your energy, and live a soft, centered, serene life.
Ready to exhale? Get your copy today. Published by Wiley, Space To Exhale is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Goodreads, and wherever books are sold.
Need several copies for your book club, event, retreat, or ERG? Visit our bulk orders partner Porchlight Books.
