Note: as is often the case, this short note started with a quick thought I recorded in a parking lot. Below is the first attempt to put down in words some of what I am trying to say. If you are curious and okay listening to unpolished thoughts, here is the original voice memo.

Here is the slightly more polished attempt:

Opening Premise

Humans are better off when they spend more time talking with family, friends, and neighbors than they do listening to strangers. This approach to personal interaction leads to the good life.

Historical Overview

Before the popularity of radio and television, it was impossible to do the reverse. You simply could not spend more time listening to strangers than talking with family, friends, and neighbors.

(Lewis raises a red flag about the barrage of “the weekly press” in Screwtape Letters, and his point is valid. But his is in a different world than ours. Many of us are trying hard to return to only consuming news media weekly!)

So, radio and television made it a little easier to listen more to strangers than to dialog with people you actually know. The dawn of the telephone—and eventually the cell phone—was different: these devices actually made it easier to talk with family, friends, and neighbors more frequently. One pathway towards the good life was strengthened, if you chose to take advantage of it. Video calls, an extension of this technology, also widened the pathway towards the good life, for those who use them well. (N.B., meetings with people you could otherwise see in person != using them well.)

The dawn of the smartphone flipped all of this on its head. With email, an internet browser, and social media all in your pocket, it is nearly impossible to spend more time talking with family, friends, and neighbors than listening to strangers.

If you are seeking to return to an older, better way of human interaction and you own a smartphone, the deck is stacked against you.

Conclusion

Some of the technological developments of the past century actually help people maintain this balance. Others actively hinder this sort of healthy alignment of interactions.

How then shall we live?

The only way to begin to return to an older, better way of human interaction is to use these technologies well. And one major implication of the data is this: without actually getting rid of your smartphone, your only chance at turning the tide is to remove email, internet browsers, and social media from your smartphone entirely. Force yourself to sit down at a computer to engage in these forms of technology.