Snow White Biography Flash a weekly Biography.

This week has been busy—almost frenetic—for anyone keeping tabs on Snow White, the original "woke princess," who now finds herself stuck somewhere between a legacy Disney IP and the punchline to every Hollywood remake meme. Yes, I'm talking about the fictional character. If you thought she was busy napping in a glass box, think again.

So, let’s kick it off with Disney’s remake drama. The mouse house, in one of its boldest moves yet, axed the seven dwarfs entirely in favor of magical creatures, following Peter Dinklage’s savage call-out that Disney’s attempts at progressivism were landing somewhere between Stone Age and tone-deaf. According to Disney, they "consulted members of the dwarfism community," but that’s like saying you asked the wolves before releasing Red Riding Hood’s Netflix special. Rachel Zegler, the new multi-ethnic Snow White, is here to show us that, yes, fairy tale princesses can exist without being rescued by a prince or wishing upon someone else's star[Sortir à Paris]. The dwarfs are out. Expect something like "Snow White: Magical Beings and One Disappointed Sleepy"—coming soon to a theater near you, or possibly straight to streaming, after the box office numbers basically screamed "not again."

If the headlines still mattered to Snow White, she’d be clutching pearls over Disney’s awkward decision to scale back the Hollywood premiere of the remake. Controversy has been everywhere—first with Rachel Zegler’s casting and her outspoken stance on feminism (“It’s no longer 1937,” she says, apparently to anyone still using dial-up), and then Gal Gadot (the Evil Queen) bringing her own geopolitical baggage into the mix. Meanwhile, Snow White’s streaming numbers have quietly surged. At least somebody out there wants to watch her, even if it’s just for ironic TikTok reactions[Variety][Collider].

But here’s the kicker: Snow White isn’t just getting roasted professionally. After the live-action film’s disappointing box office haul—$205 million on a $350 million spend, a true princess-sized business fail—Disney slammed the brakes on its other remakes. That is, until Lilo & Stitch made a billion dollars, and suddenly Tangled is back from the dead, with Scarlett Johansson circling the role of Mother Gothel. Because why not—if you can’t make people care about Snow White, just grow Rapunzel’s hair and call it next-gen, right[ScreenRant][IMDB]?

On the social feed front, Snow White is trending as the “face of forced diversity” (ouch), but there’s also a fun meme going around: Snow White trading dwarfs for unicorns. As for the biographical impact? Rachel Zegler rebounded—and she’s now lined up to play Gloria Estefan in a biopic, proving there is life after bombed Disney remakes. If nothing else, the lesson here is: fictional characters live forever, but franchise plans are mortal and occasionally disastrous[The Sun][The Express].

That’s the tea, folks. Thanks for tuning in to Snow White Biography Flash. Subscribe, so you never miss an update on Snow White—and search Biography Flash for more tales of drama, debacle, and maybe a dwarfless happily ever after.

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