Snow White Biography Flash a weekly Biography.
Alright folks, you’re tuned in to Snow White Biography Flash with yours truly, Marcus Marc Ellery, the man whose idea of a fairy tale involves Wi-Fi that actually works. And as always, let’s remember Snow White is fictional—so if you’re outraged by apples or short roommates, maybe take a breath or three.
In case you haven’t checked your phone in the past five minutes, Snow White is everywhere this week—and not just because of that questionable apple turnover in my fridge. Disney’s brand-new live-action remake has turned out to be the financial disaster of the season. According to Inside The Magic, Disney took a $115 million bath at the box office, which is bad even by Hollywood standards, unless you’re making an avant-garde art film about avocado toast. Some say the blowback was so intense Disney considered pausing all future live-action remakes just to nurse its wounds—and no, that doesn’t mean they’re giving up on turning beloved cartoons into slightly less beloved movies. They’re apparently still considering a Sleeping Beauty remake set in Mexico and, kid you not, critics preemptively called that one “woke” even before the script hit the printer.
Why did it flop? Why is everyone talking about our girl Snow White? It started with Disney casting Rachel Zegler, who, if you missed the memo, is Colombian—and apparently, swapping a 1930s complexion was just too much for the “but my childhood!” crowd. Zegler said in Vogue Mexico that she loves being in something people are passionate about, which is a very Zen way to react to people melting down because a fairy tale princess isn’t exactly like their grandmother’s wallpaper. She also said this isn’t 1937 anymore and Snow’s not delusional about princes, but dreaming of being a leader. So, feminism, leadership, and—wait for it—no true love’s kiss. Sorry Prince Charming, maybe next reboot.
The seven dwarfs? Still there, but after Peter Dinklage blasted the portrayal as, well, “backwards,” Disney claimed they had diversity consultants on speed dial. Good intentions, questionable execution, and an online comment section that aches for medieval times—that’s the circle of content.
The premiere? Usually a glam red carpet, this time it got scaled back to in-house crew and a handful of photographers. Probably for the best, given the mood. Both Rachel Zegler and Gal Gadot have made the rounds—Oscars, Tokyo, planning a big Spain push. Social media? It’s a mess: fans, critics, bots, and some dude ranting about apples, all having a field day.
Alright, time’s up. Thanks for listening, you literary apples—subscribe so you never miss an update on the ongoing melodrama that is Snow White’s biography, and search “Biography Flash” for more. I’ll see you next time unless I’m trapped in a mirror arguing with myself.
Get the best deals
https://amzn.to/45JRxcrThis content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
