This episode of Sisters in Sobriety dives into sober sex, desire, and rebuilding intimacy without substances with guest Taylor McConnachie - Registered Psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and Certified Sexologist, founder of Embodied Sexual Wellness & Psychotherapy in Simcoe, Ontario. Taylor specializes in holistic sex therapy that blends science, somatics, and the sacred to help people heal shame, navigate desire discrepancies, and cultivate empowered sexuality. The answer questions that many sober (and sober-curious) listeners ask: What actually changes about desire and arousal in sobriety? How do somatic practices, mindful masturbation, and body scans help you get out of your head and into your body? What if there’s a desire discrepancy in a long-term relationship—or you’re dating for the first time sober and can’t tell whether you’re attracted? And how do we redefine intimacy when performance anxiety, shame, or old narratives show up? They'll talk about clear, trauma-informed steps to rebuild sexual wellbeing: using body scans to notice sensation without judgment; practicing mindful masturbation to shift from performance to presence; understanding spontaneous vs. responsive desire (and why sobriety often tilts toward responsive); approaching erectile concerns and arousal blocks through reconnection rather than quick fixes; and reframing “frequency goals” to reduce pressure and increase genuine sexual satisfaction. Expect grounded strategies that integrate attachment, somatics, and practical communication skills. Taylor also shares personal and clinical stories—from her own journey with pelvic pain and endometriosis in a rural community with few resources to real-world examples of couples rediscovering vulnerability as the engine of intimacy. Sonia opens up about her “sober sexual debut,” fumbling, and learning to feel desire without the shortcut of alcohol. They'll unpack the grief for what sex used to feel like and the hope of what it can become with curiosity and compassion. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:00:43 — Why sex therapy needs to be its own specialty (and why many therapists aren’t trained to talk about sex) 00:03:10 — Taylor’s path: pelvic pain, endometriosis, and building the practice she needed but couldn’t find 00:05:02 — When a couples therapist refers to a sex therapist (scope, overlap, and teamwork) 00:07:12 — Certification matters: what AASECT tells you about training and safety 00:09:18 — Only ~14 AASECT-certified sex therapists in Canada—why that scarcity matters for care access 00:10:20 — From CBT to somatics: helping clients get out of their heads and into their bodies 00:12:05 — “Science meets the sacred”: honoring evidence while rejecting rigid pathologizing 00:14:52 — Movement as medicine: reconnecting with arousal and erection through embodied practice 00:16:48 — Pleasure after shame: the first time a client truly feels what their body can do 00:18:07 — Sober sex 101: noticing more (and why that can feel overwhelming and beautiful) 00:20:02 — Mindful masturbation as foundational homework for sober intimacy 00:22:31 — Presence over performance: rewiring dopamine loops without substances 00:23:14 — Performance anxiety myths: why sobriety can improve erectile function 00:26:12 — Spontaneous vs. responsive desire—and why sobriety often shifts the balance 00:29:05 — Grieving the old high: processing disappointment when sober sex feels different 00:31:22 — Normalize the fumble: reducing shame to unlock curiosity and desire 00:34:18 — Emotional intimacy as the gateway to sexual intimacy (and how to build it) 00:37:05 — Practicing vulnerability in bite-size reps to increase safety and trust 00:40:02 — Desire discrepancy is common: moving from urgency to understanding 00:45:02 — Taking sex off the pedestal: experiments that reveal what’s r