Once upon a time, there was a pooch called Spitzi. Now, Spitzi was special cos he drank his water the way a human soldier from ancient Israel would. Like, with his hands and everything. No you see, what you don’t understand is that Spitzi had hands. No, not front paws. Actual hands. Like, hands that you can use to stop traffic or throw food around. So one day Spitzi was down at the water just lappin it up when he got drafted, like to become a soldier. And there, they gave him a gun, which he held in his dog-hands. I know what you’re thinking. This is madness. Madness? This. Is. Spartaaaa! Wait… *inaudible conversation in the background.Scrap that. Pastor just said I got the wrong 300. This one’s on Gideon. Gaaargh. Inilah hakikat social media intern. They expect you to see a sermon title and be like all prophetic or something.