You Give a F*ck Way Too Much | The Emotional Labor of it All

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Shades of Strong® | From “Strong Black Woman” to Supported Black Woman

Shirl

232 episodes

3 days ago

The Shades of Strong® podcast is your weekly invitation to stop carrying it all alone.
Hosted by Shirl — the friend who sees through your “I’m fine” mask and gently says, “Let’s talk about it” — this space is for Black women ready to redefine what strength looks like and finally feel supported.
Through honest storytelling, soul-stirring conversations, and the Support Languages™ framework, we unpack what the “Strong Black Woman” trope has cost us, and explore what support can actually look like in real life.
If you’ve been doing the most, feeling unseen, and wondering when it’s your turn to exhale… you’re in the right place.
This is where every shade of strong is welcome — and every Black woman is seen, heard, and held.

All content for Shades of Strong® | From “Strong Black Woman” to Supported Black Woman is the property of Shirl and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

You Give a F*ck Way Too Much | The Emotional Labor of it All

Shades of Strong® | From “Strong Black Woman” to Supported Black Woman

12 minutes 38 seconds

2 months ago

You Give a F*ck Way Too Much | The Emotional Labor of it All

Have you ever rewritten the same text five times just to make sure it didn’t sound too harsh?
Ever softened your “no” so it wouldn’t feel like rejection?
Ever held back your truth to avoid being called “too much”?
Yeah… me too.
In this episode, I’m naming the emotional labor Black women carry just to be seen as “easy.” I’m talking about the constant back-bending, the tiptoeing, the fear of being left — and how all of that is tied to the way we’ve been conditioned to over-care.
I talk about the fear of being misunderstood, the pressure to be liked, the desire not to make things weird. I share what it looked like for me to stop bending, stop rewriting, and stop managing everyone else’s comfort just so I wouldn’t be left. We explore the weight of emotional labor — how it shows up in our texts, our boundaries, and the ways we shrink ourselves to stay connected. And I offer a truth that might be hard to sit with: support that costs you your peace isn’t really support.
This one is for the Black woman who’s tired of carrying everyone else’s reactions.
Because support should feel like ease — not emotional gymnastics. And emotional labor and support are not the same thing.

Resources to Support You:

* Schedule a 1:1 Support Session
* Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language—Now What?"
* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com