You’ve put down strong. You’ve tried the self-care Sundays, the soft life rituals, the silence and the scented candles. But somehow, you still feel like you’re holding it all by yourself.
In this episode of Shades of Strong, Shirl unpacks why self-care and softness — while nourishing — were never meant to replace real support. She breaks down the difference between comfort and being held, and shares why so many Black women are left feeling unsupported even while doing all the “right” things to care for themselves.
You’ll hear:
Why soft life vibes can feel good, but still leave you depleted
The pacifier metaphor that will shift how you see comfort vs. support
How Support Languages offer a deeper way to receive the care you actually need
What happens when we grieve the strong Black woman identity but don’t replace it with anything real
And how we can honor our mothers and grandmothers by choosing differently
This is a loving call-in — not to abandon softness, but to go deeper than what looks good on the surface. If you’ve ever felt like self-care just wasn’t cutting it anymore, this conversation is for you.
Resources to Support You:
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Schedule a 1:1 Support Session
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Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language—Now What?"
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Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
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Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week
Let’s Stay Connected:
* Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform
* Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one
* Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space
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www.shadesofstrong.com
Related Episodes
* When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well
* When You're All You've Got
