Rebuilding Your Capacity to Be Held

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Shades of Strong® | From “Strong Black Woman” to Supported Black Woman

Shirl

232 episodes

3 days ago

The Shades of Strong® podcast is your weekly invitation to stop carrying it all alone.
Hosted by Shirl — the friend who sees through your “I’m fine” mask and gently says, “Let’s talk about it” — this space is for Black women ready to redefine what strength looks like and finally feel supported.
Through honest storytelling, soul-stirring conversations, and the Support Languages™ framework, we unpack what the “Strong Black Woman” trope has cost us, and explore what support can actually look like in real life.
If you’ve been doing the most, feeling unseen, and wondering when it’s your turn to exhale… you’re in the right place.
This is where every shade of strong is welcome — and every Black woman is seen, heard, and held.

All content for Shades of Strong® | From “Strong Black Woman” to Supported Black Woman is the property of Shirl and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

Rebuilding Your Capacity to Be Held

Shades of Strong® | From “Strong Black Woman” to Supported Black Woman

14 minutes 51 seconds

7 months ago

Rebuilding Your Capacity to Be Held

Today we're talking about receiving support as a Black woman—and why it still feels hard, even when it’s soft and real.
What happens when someone shows up for you with tenderness and care… and your first instinct is to flinch?
What do you do when support is being offered—but your body doesn’t know how to let it in?
This episode started with a comment from my daughter…And what should’ve felt like joy, pride, even gratitude—turned into hesitation. Doubt. A quiet refusal to receive.
So today, we’re getting into the deep, unspoken patterns around receiving support as a Black woman—especially when you’ve been conditioned to be the strong one, the giver, the safe space for everybody else.
We’re talking about the ways emotional safety and mindful care can still feel like a threat, even when we want them.
How support can feel unfamiliar.How softness can feel suspicious.And how healing often starts with noticing the moment you want to push it all away.
If your Support Language is Emotional Safety or Mindful Care, this one might speak directly to your nervous system.Because this episode isn’t about “being open.”It’s about building the capacity to receive—slowly, gently, without guilt.
So if you’ve ever felt yourself shrink when someone tried to hold you,If you’ve ever pushed love away before it could land,If you’re still learning what it means to feel safe in softness…
This is your invitation to start again.To be held—without apology.One quiet moment at a time.

Resources to Support You:

* Take the Support Language Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
* Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic
* Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration.
* Be a Guest on the Show
* www.shadesofstrong.com