“My pleasure ceiling used to be at about a tablespoon, and then it went up to a cup, and then it went up to a quart, and then it went up to a gallon, and now it's an ocean.” – Betty Martin
Disclaimer: This episode contains discussions of touch, consent, sexual activity and sex work. Listener discretion is advised.
Patricia welcomes Betty Martin, creator of the internationally taught Wheel of Consent, to explore how this transformative practice intersects with Internal Family Systems (IFS). Betty shares her journey from chiropractor to sexological bodyworker and intimacy coach. She shares how her observations of her clients’ difficulties knowing what they wanted led to developing the Wheel, a model that distinguishes between "who is doing" and "who it's for" in touch dynamics, enabling clarity, confidence, and embodied pleasure.
The conversation delves into the Wheel's four quadrants—serving, taking, accepting, and allowing—and how they relate to IFS concepts like protector parts, legacy burdens, and Self Energy. Betty and Patty discuss how the Wheel helps build internal awareness, negotiate consent, and overcome patterned responses that are not aligned with authentic pleasure. They emphasize the importance of slowing down to notice body sensations and build trust with protective parts, and the radical impact that claiming one’s erotic truth can have on living an empowered life.
They address common challenges, such as blending with parts during touch, the impact of trauma on consent, and the role of the Wheel in professional settings like therapy and bodywork. Betty reflects on her retirement from hands-on work and the evolution of the School of Consent, highlighting the practice's applicability beyond touch to everyday interactions.
About Dr. Betty Martin: Betty is a chiropractor, facilitator, intimacy coach, teacher, author, and founder of the School of Consent. She developed the Wheel of Consent, a groundbreaking model and practice for clarity in touch and consent, drawing from her decades of experience in bodywork and somatics. She lives in a community, is a mother of three, and grandmother of two.
Connect with Betty:
Website: http://bettymartin.org/
Book: https://www.wheelofconsentbook.com/
School of Consent: https://www.schoolofconsent.org/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbettymartin/
Wheel of Consent Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewheelofconsent/
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