“I can find parts that identify as women, parts that identify as drag queens, parts that identify as men, parts that identify as neither of them…parts that identify as androgynous, there is like a huge variety. So for me that distinction [between sexuality and gender] allowed a lot more variety inside.” Alessio Rizzo
Disclaimer: This episode contains discussions of gender, sexuality, and societal oppression.. Listener discretion is advised.
In this episode of the *Self-led in Bed* podcast, Patty welcomes Alessio Rizzo, an IFS Institute Trainer & Approved Clinical Consultant, Content Creator and Podcaster to explore the intersections of gender, sexuality, and neurodiversity through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Meeting for the first time, Patty and Alessio share a dynamic conversation about how IFS can foster curiosity, self-acceptance, and liberation when navigating complex and marginalized identities.
Alessio shares his personal journey as a gender-fluid, gay, neurodivergent person of Italian origin, currently living in the UK, highlighting the burdens of gender non-conformity and societal expectations from childhood. He discusses the liberation of distinguishing gender expression from sexual orientation within his system, allowing parts to embody diverse gender identities—such as drag queens, androgynous, or non-gendered—while his sexual orientation remains consistent. The conversation delves into the concept of “neuroqueering,” the overlap between neurodivergence and queerness, and how IFS supports internal multiplicity, freeing individuals from rigid labels. They address the current global climate of oppression affecting queer and trans communities, emphasizing the importance of safe spaces like Alessio’s upcoming *Gender Journeys* workshop, which focuses on processing disenfranchised grief from suppressed gender expressions. Alessio and Patty also reflect on the nature of Self-Energy, the interplay of embodied and transcendent aspects, and the power of exploring identity with the consent of the system.
About Alessio Rizzo: Alessio Rizzo (He / They) is an IFS Trainer, educator, author and content creator. His IFS blogs (therapywithalessio.com) reach thousands of readers every month and he is co-producing the "Queering IFS" podcast, in which he explores how IFS interfaces with gender, sexuality and neurodiversity. Alessio identifies as gay, genderfluid and neurodivergent. Amongst his contributions to the IFS field, Alessio has created dyslexia-friendly infographics (which can be found on his website) as well as educational content on Polyamory and Kink from an IFS perspective.
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