Secondhand Therapy

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Control, Boundaries, and My Mom | #094

PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Topics discussed: therapy podcast, mental health podcast, rejection sensitive dysphoria, RSD, codependency recovery, CODA meetings, family dynamics, emotional boundaries, self-awareness, meeting people where they are, communication in relationships, personal growth, unlicensed therapy podcast

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3 days ago

1 hour 1 minute 16 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Michael and Louie get real about boundaries, control, and what it takes to accept people — especially family — as they are.

This week, Louie opens up about deciding to accept his mom for who she is, letting go of the hope for a deeper emotional connection, and navigating the grief that comes with a more shallow relationship. Michael shares how childhood neglect, acts of service, and the loss of key family support have shaped the way he gives and receives love. Together, they unpack emotional walls (“the bricks”), codependency, the need for validation, and how old wounds show up in adult relationships. And then we get into a fight over communication. Autism vs ADHD: the Showdown.

It’s raw, unfiltered, and sometimes hilarious — a deep dive into family dynamics, attachment, emotional boundaries, and why some conversations feel like battles.

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Vulnerability Not Allowed | #093

PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

Topics discussed: therapy podcast, mental health podcast, family boundaries, mother-son relationship, emotional boundaries, letting go of control, accepting family, childhood neglect, acts of service love language, codependency recovery, inner critic, family dynamics, grief and loss, personal growth, unlicensed therapy

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1 week ago

1 hour 1 minute 4 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy..

Louie’s new therapist introduced him to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) — and it’s already getting personal.

In what early listeners have called our "most beautiful episode yet"... Louie brings EFT-style attachment questions to the pod, exploring what he and Michael learned from their families about vulnerability, emotional safety, and connection. They reflect on how their mothers shaped their ability (or inability) to express feelings, the emotional roles they were expected to play, and what it means to unlearn emotional avoidance as adults.

If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why is vulnerability so hard for me?” — this one’s for you.

topics: emotionally focused therapy, EFT, therapy podcast, attachment styles, emotional vulnerability, childhood trauma, family dynamics, inner child healing, men’s mental health, emotional avoidance, healing relationships, therapy questions, how to be vulnerable, funny therapy podcast

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Inner Critic Sounds Like... Mom | #092

PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

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2 weeks ago

59 minutes 34 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy..

Michael has a new therapist — again — and session one gets heavy fast.

In this episode, Michael opens up about his childhood introduction to pornography, the grief of losing his mom, and how he's been (literally) conjuring her in his mind. He shares his fears around trying new things, the weight of codependency, and the haunting voice of his inner critic… which sounds a lot like his mother. Louie joins in to reflect on shame, identity, and the early experiences that shaped them both.

It’s an honest, funny, and deeply emotional conversation about therapy, loss, childhood trauma, and learning how to grow without the people who shaped us — for better or worse.

Topics: mental health podcast, grief and loss, inner critic, codependency, childhood trauma, therapy session, pornography addiction, men’s mental health, self-discovery, healing journey, comedy and grief, emotional resilience, parent wound, unlicensed therapy podcast

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Hobby Hunting and Identity Crises | #091

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3 weeks ago

58 minutes 19 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Louie can’t stop wondering if his therapist is a Trump supporter. Louie talks about the early sessions of starting therapy, including opening up about his depression, anxiety, and trauma through intake surveys. He also shares why he’s on a mission to find a hobby — and how it could transform every relationship in his life. Michael has a theory about why Louie hates schedules, and opens up about his own identity struggles. Together, they ask a big, uncomfortable question: Who gets to decide what makes someone a good person?

It’s a vulnerable, funny, and deeply honest conversation about starting therapy, navigating mental health, identity, and the awkwardness that comes with trying to grow.

Topics: mental health podcast, starting therapy, depression and anxiety, trauma recovery, identity and self-worth, therapy for men, funny therapy podcast, personal growth, male friendship, comedy meets vulnerability

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New Therapists, Old Patterns | #090

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1 month ago

1 hour 2 minutes 16 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Louie and Michael just had intake sessions with their new therapists—and the experiences couldn’t have been more different. Louie returns to working with a woman therapist and unpacks what it’s like doing virtual therapy from the intimacy of your own space. He opens up about childhood trauma, the emotional impact of therapy on Zoom, and why his new therapist has never used social media—and what that says about mental health today.

Meanwhile, Michael is adjusting to a new relationship dynamic and facing fear in unexpected places—including a moment when his partner fell asleep and he felt too anxious to go for a walk. The two discuss how fear of abandonment, relational anxiety, and early trauma still show up—then dive into a classic role play that spirals in the most chaotic (and healing?) way.

If you're into therapy, emotional processing, relationship dynamics, or navigating modern mental health—this episode is for you.

Who doesn't love muffins, ya know.

Topics:

Virtual therapy vs in-person sessions
Fear of abandonment & relationship anxiety
Social media and mental health
First therapy sessions and trauma discovery
Role play therapy (with laughs and breakthroughs)

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Replay - PTSD and Self-Love with Hanorah

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1 month ago

57 minutes 30 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions involving sexual assault.

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I Don’t Want Help! What Even is Growth? | #089

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1 month ago

59 minutes 53 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

This episode ends up going very deep... Michael’s patience hits a breaking point after being on hold for 4 hours—then his girlfriend tries to help, and it only makes things worse. Lou and Michael unpack why support can sometimes feel like control, and how some conversations trigger defensiveness or feel like interrogation. They dive into the tension between processing emotions vs. taking action, explore their very different approaches to therapy, and debate what real growth actually looks like. The episode takes a deeper turn as they confront generational trauma, emotional triggers, and what it takes to break toxic family cycles.

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Replay - Little Boy on the Beach Gave Me a Panic Attack

PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

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1 month ago

1 hour 58 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Michael unpacks a vivid dream that stirred up old wounds, leading to a raw conversation about how he’s really processed his grief. He and Louie dive into what “showing emotion” actually means—especially for men—and why crying in front of people feels impossible. Louie opens up about a therapy exercise that triggered a full-blown panic attack, and the episode takes a deeper turn as they both reflect on their childhoods and how it shaped them.

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818-850-2448
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Read Receipts & The Panic Spiral of “I Miss You” | #088

PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

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1 month ago

58 minutes 45 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Louie’s off keto and melting down over Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but it quickly becomes clear this episode isn’t really about cereal. What starts as a goofy check-in turns into a full-blown emotional audit — from the weight of unsaid feelings to the desperate scramble to fix something you maybe just made worse. The guys unravel the difference between:

"How can I talk to you better?" vs. "What can we do differently?"
Selfless care vs. reputation management
Guilt-driven repair vs. genuine accountability

They dissect what it means to feel dismissed, how panic can hijack your intention, and why changing how you speak to someone isn’t always love — sometimes it’s self-erasure. It’s funny, it’s chaotic, and Also featuring:
– “You hit me with a baseball!”
– Weaponized ‘I miss you’s
– A fake breakup that feels a little too real
– Love on the spectrum
– And Michael finally realizing he’s never actually thought before speaking 🙃

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Fake Growth. Real Talk. | #087

PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

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2 months ago

57 minutes 53 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

This is probably our most uncomfortable conversation so far... This week, we dive into the messy beauty of personal growth, family trauma, and the illusion of progress. Michael spirals into thoughts about mortality and uncovers patterns passed down through his family—aka the “family curse.” He opens up about feeling stuck, avoiding discomfort, and calling it self-improvement. Louie isn’t having it. He calls out the loopholes, the fake growth, and the safety blanket of the comfort zone. There’s tension. There’s truth. There’s laughter in between the heavy stuff.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, lied to yourself in the name of growth, or wondered if your trauma is inherited—this one’s for you. mental health, therapy, self-awareness, generational trauma, comfort zone, vulnerability, personal development, funny therapy podcast

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818-850-2448
PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

mental health, therapy, self-awareness, generational trauma, comfort zone, vulnerability, personal development, funny therapy podcastSupport the pod:
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I Don’t Feel Connected to my Mother | #086

PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

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2 months ago

1 hour 2 minutes 14 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

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Grief (Part II) / Music Triggers & Healing Over Time When the World Won’t Stop | #085

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2 months ago

45 minutes 56 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Louie opens up about how music can unexpectedly trigger waves of grief — and reflects on the strangely beautiful reality that the world keeps moving after someone dies. Michael shares how his own experience of loss has shifted over time, revealing how grief evolves and reshapes our sense of self. Together, they explore the many forms grief can take — from deep sorrow to unexpected moments of connection and hope — and how it intersects with our mental health. Whether you're grieving a loved one, a relationship, or a version of yourself, this conversation offers comfort, perspective, and a reminder that you're not alone.

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Therapy Intake Questions, ADHD Struggles, and Starting with a New Therapist | #084

PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

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2 months ago

44 minutes 23 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Social media boundaries in therapy, ADHD shutdowns, and how productivity shame messes with your self-worth.

Starting therapy with someone new can feel… awkward. Louie shares about his first session with a new therapist, and the surprising comment he received on Instagram that sparked a deeper conversation. Should therapists follow you on social media? Meanwhile, Michael opens up about his ongoing struggles with ADHD, productivity shame, and what it’s like to emotionally shut down when tasks pile up. In this episode, we unpack:

Awkward first sessions with new therapists
Should your therapist follow your Instagram?
Therapy intake forms: too much too soon?
ADHD, executive dysfunction, and self-worth
The emotional weight of productivity culture

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Sitting in Discomfort: How Therapy Is Changing Our Relationships | #083

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3 months ago

57 minutes 29 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Louie opens up about a vulnerable conversation with his girlfriend that challenged their relationship — all through the lens of parts work therapy. He shares how sitting with discomfort, rather than avoiding it, is transforming the way he shows up in partnership. Michael reflects on his own experience with parts work, revealing emotional memories connected to his mother — and how facing discomfort in therapy is reshaping his sense of self. This episode explores:

Why discomfort in therapy can be your biggest breakthrough
Real-life relationship challenges during inner work
How childhood parts show up in adult dynamics

Whether you're in therapy or curious about how emotional healing affects love, this one goes deep. New episodes weekly — follow to stay on your healing journey.

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Can’t Commit to Monogamy | #082

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3 months ago

50 minutes 37 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Louie has bronchitis and found his therapists Instagram — and why that might be a red flag. Michael dives deep into his fear of commitment, the emotional tension around flirting in monogamous relationships, and why he struggles with being perceived as “in trouble” for noticing other women. Together, they explore the blurry line between attraction and objectification, and how abandonment issues can sabotage intimacy. A raw, honest look at modern masculinity, emotional growth, and the complexity of romantic relationships.

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Replay - Family Dysfunction and EMDR with Lara Beitz

PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

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3 months ago

46 minutes 17 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

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3 months ago

59 minutes 37 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

Live Show 001

This is the recording of our first live show. It was recorded December 19, 2024 in Los Angeles, Ca.

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You Probably Think This Story’s About You: It Started as a Love Story

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4 months ago

1 hour 19 minutes 28 seconds

Secondhand Therapy

*Some names and details have been changed to conceal the identities of those who wish to remain anonymous.

When Brittani Ard matches with Kanon on Hingesparks fly. Their first date revealed an instantconnection and chemistry.Kanon is devastatingly handsome with a charm that disarmed even the mostguarded heart—plus he is surprisingly emotionally available for a man in his forties. It’s as if the universe has conspired to bring them together, two soulmates destined to find each other.

The couple spends the next five months diving fast into a whirlwind romance. Their connection so intense and their bond so deep that it seems like Brittani’s fairytale has finally found its happy ending. Until one weekend that changed her life forever.

Executive Producer Brittani Ard Follow Brittani@Brittani.Ard on all platformsThis episode contains mentions of suicide.If you are having thoughts of suicide, please reach out to the resources below. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or Text 988Support the pod:
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