In my opinion, any emotion we carry after losing a Son or a daughter is valid.  I know that anger is a common emotion after losing a kid to addiction because there is so much chaos and disbelief that we could not save them, but I have never felt angry towards Sam, just fear that I would lose him. In this episode, I discuss why I am not angry at Sam, how much I identify with him, and why I think the cops that arrested him that night could have done a better job than to drop him off at the train station with no shoes or warm clothes on a sub-zero night.    As a society, we have to be better than this.    If either cop had known Sam or had true compassion, things could have turned out differently.   I live with so much confusion and pain but I don't blame Sam, I blame the perfect storm that became his life and took him from me.   I have lots of unanswered questions,  no gains from figuring them out, and this is another stifling and tragic part of losing him to addiction.