Shalom, that beautiful Hebrew word meaning peace. But its meaning is much deeper than simple absence of conflict. It's more active and intentional than that.

As I learned from a sermon last year, Shalom is a earned harmony, resulting from the intentional resolution of difficult conflicts in our personal, professional and spiritual lives.

One thing is certain: you will not gain shalom by avoiding conflict.

This has taken a lifetime for me to figure out with significant consequences flowing from that avoidance.

Here's the thing about conflict. We don't do it because its uncomfortable and we fear the consequences of daylighting the conflict? What will happen if we raise this as an issue?

Here's what I've learned. Whether you address it or not, the thing you fear will happen, whether you raise the conflict or not, but if you don't do it earlier, the thing you fear will be 10 times worse. Being proactive early means you have a chance to solve it while the conflict is manageable.

So just do it.

Address it now or face the consequences later. In the early stages, you at least have a chance to heal it rather facing a much worse problem later on.

If you are a conflict avoider like I am, I offer some suggestions based upon the Biblical story of Jacob and Esau.

This episode is important. These are all critical skills that we must learn to develop!!