
Stressful relationships can be one of the biggest triggers for overeating. When emotions run high, it’s easy to reach for food instead of peace. In this episode, Julie and Tony introduce a practical, Christ-centered tool called IVAA (Identify, Validate, Align, Action) — also known as IVA² — to help calm conflict, protect relationships, and avoid stress-driven eating.
You’ll learn how to:
• Identify the emotion the other person is feeling.
• Validate their feelings so they feel heard and understood.
• Align the situation with God’s Word for wisdom and peace.
• Action – make a plan for now and for the future to prevent repeated conflict.
Julie and Tony also share practical tips, such as using ice or time-outs to calm emotions, and they connect IVAA with biblical truth that helps us respond with grace instead of reacting in anger. Special thanks to Dr. Scott Gostchock, their coach, for his revisions to this conceptual piece on Emotional Intelligence.
In addition to IVAA, they also highlight three other powerful approaches for building healthier relationships and reducing stress that leads to overeating:
• Step Four of the 12 Steps – working through resentments to uncover the deeper issues.
• Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs – understanding the blessing cycle in marriage and relationships.
• The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman – learning how to give and receive love in ways that matter most.
If you’ve ever struggled with turning to food when relationships get tense, this episode will give you biblical tools and faith-based strategies to break that cycle and invite God’s peace into your interactions.